The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at
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The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych






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Now displaying: 2020
Nov 26, 2020

Hello, friends! This is a Q&A episode with two super important and interesting listener questions relating to coping with grief after losing a much-loved support dog, and being able to successfully distance yourself emotionally from family.

Stay safe <3


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Nov 19, 2020

Hello, friends. This is a super interesting Q&A which answers two important listener questions. The first relates to never setting personal boundaries, putting everyone first before yourself, and the second tackles the difficult question, how much better is enough?

As always you can send me your questions or topic suggestions to and full show notes are at 


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Nov 15, 2020

Hello, all! Bringing you a little bonus episode today. I recently teamed up with Himalaya to create a full audio course all about top mental health tools that you can use to improve your life. Check out and use promo code DUFF for your first 14 days free!

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With an extensive library of audio courses designed to fuel your personal and professional growth, Himalaya Learning unlocks the world’s greatest minds and brings their priceless wisdom and insights straight to your ears.

Nov 12, 2020

Hello, everyone! This is a Q&A episode for you with two similarly themed questions having to do with relationships with other people. Here are the particular questions asked:

  • I feel bad about moving out due to my roommates borderline personality disorder. What can I do about this?
  • How can I connect to people again after getting out of an abusive relationship?

As always, you can send me questions or topic suggestions to 


Check out Himalaya Ashwaganha on Amazon and get 20% off your first order using the promo code "SELFHELP20"

If you have treatment resistant depression, head over to to see if TMS treatment could be an option for you.

Nov 5, 2020

Hello, friends! A Q&A episode for you this week with some really vulnerable questions. Here are the questions asked:

  • I think I have depression, but don't know how to reach out. What can I do?
  • I don't self-harm anymore but still have suicidal thoughts. How can I make them go away?

As always, you can send me questions for the show to


Greenbrook TMS is a great organization providing a powerful FDA approved therapy for treatment resistant depression. Check out for more information.

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Oct 29, 2020

I just had a birthday and I decided to do something a bit silly. In this episode, I am running down 32 things I've done in my 32 years on this earth. It's not all bragging! You'll learn a few interesting things about me and my experience. I greatly appreciate you. Thank you for being there for another trip around the sun.


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Oct 22, 2020

Hello, friends! This is a fascinating Q&A that answers a question relating to something we call non-clinical auditory hallucinations. In other words, hearing something that isn't actually there. I also offer advice on what you can do when you've hit a roadblock with your depression and anxiety. Enjoy!

Check out my new website at

If you have a question for a future episode, send it over to

This episode was brought to you by Thrive Market. Head over to for a free gift with your trial membership!

Oct 15, 2020

Hello, friends! Today I have a looser episode structure for you. Simply me sitting and talking to you about a few things that are working for me right now. They are super random, but all represent things in my life that are helping me get through. In no particular order they are...

  • White boards
  • Boundaries
  • Waking up early
  • Coldbrew
  • Verbal journaling
  • Exercising
  • Audiobooks
  • Having grace with myself
  • Timing activities
  • PBAP

See. Told you they were pretty random. I think you'll find some helpful tips in here though. Let me know what you think! 

If you have a question that you'd like answered or a topic for a future show, shoot me an email to

Oct 1, 2020

Hello, friends! Bit of a short episode today, but great questions nonetheless! I also mention that I've been putting out more great content on Youtube and for my mailing list. Make sure you check those out as well if you can't get enough great mental health info! 

Here are the questions covered in this episode:

  • Does hypnotherapy work?
  • What can I do about my family issues during the holidays?

As always you can send me your questions and topic suggestions to 

This episode is sponsored by Himalaya ashwagandha. Use the code SELFHELP20 at checkout on Amazon to get a hefty discount! 

Sep 24, 2020

Hello, friends. A lot of you have been asking to an update from my wife, Joelle. Today, I have her on the show to talk about what led up to her recent mental health crisis and how things have progressed since that time. She has undergone six ketamine infusion treatments, started with a psychiatrist, and started with a new therapist. We talk about all of these things and she does an amazing job of making visual metaphors for the ways in which she is changing. Enjoy!

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Check out to get 10% off your first month of professional online therapy.

Sep 17, 2020

Hey, all!

In this episode, I answer some awesome listener questions after rambling at your in a semi-lucid loopy tired state for a while. Here are the questions covered this episode:

  • What concrete work can people do to move on from trauma?
  • What can you do when your therapist prices you out?

As always, you can send me your questions for the show to

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Go to for 10% off your first month of professional online therapy.

Sep 10, 2020

Hello, friends!

Just a nice Q&A episode for you this week. Thank you all so much for the outpouring of support and care after the last episode. Things are definitely improving around here. Expect an update on our life soon! For today, here are the questions covered:

  • I have been struggling between therapy sessions, but don't want to bother my therapist about it. What can I do?
  • Should I go to therapy since I don't want to have kids following the death of my mother?

As always, you can send me your questions to and if you'd like to learn more about all that I do, check out

This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Check them out for sustainable organic groceries delivered straight to your door! Go to for a special gift along with your trial membership!

Aug 27, 2020

This is an interesting episode. I honestly don't know if I'll keep it posted forever. It has been an exhausting and scary week. So I turned on the mic and just got real with you. My wife is struggling with her mental health and we have had to navigate the options for more intensive treatment, which has been extremely frustrating. I talk about inpatient hospitalization, residential programs, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, and more. Basically, I ramble about what we are going through as a family for almost an hour. It's raw and it's real. I hope it helps you feel less alone. 

Aug 20, 2020

Hello, friends! I hope that where ever you are, you are not absolutely melting from heat like I am. Even if you are, go chill in the air conditioning and settle in because this episode's a long one. 

In this episode, I share the audio from THREE whole lessons of my online course, Kick Anxiety's Ass. These lessons talk all about structural changes to your life that you can make and habits that you can build to further support your anxiety conquest.

Since each lesson is over 20 minutes, this episode clocks in at well over an hour.

If you love what you hear, please check out the online course that it came from at

This episode is brought to you by Better Help. Visit for 10% off your first month of online professional counseling.

Aug 13, 2020

Hello, all! Thanks for having some patience with the lack of an episode last week. I think it was worth it because this is a packed episode. In this week's episode, I dive deep into my favorite tips and techniques to make you a better communicator and a better listener. In the field, we call these "active listening" techniques and they are the fundamental techniques that all therapists learn to help people open up and trust them.

Here are the tips covered:

  • You have more than one shot.
  • Pay attention to emotional state.
  • Listen before speaking.
  • Nonverbal behaviors.
  • Open-ended questions.
  • Restatements.
  • Reflections.
  • Silence.

I think you'll get a lot out of this episode! 

Please continue sending me your questions and episode ideas to

This week's sponsor is Raycon. Check out their awesome wireless earbuds at

Jul 31, 2020

Hello, friends! I hope that you're staying healthy and relatively happy out there. In this episode, I've got the following awesome questions for you:

  • My fiance and I are stuck on different continents due to COVID. What can I do to deal with my sadness?
  • I get rushes of adrenaline and panic attacks when moving around in bed at night. Why and what can I do?

Don't forget that you can still get the entire Kick Anxiety's Ass course for just $75 instead of $300. Head over and check out some free lessons!

This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Go to to get a free gift with your risk-free membership.

Jul 23, 2020

Hello, friends! This episode is a question and answer show with a couple really great ones:

  • How can I remember what brought be joy before depression?
  • Should I stay away from me ex who was abusive to me?

As always, please send in your questions for the show to

This episode is brought to you by Raycon. I'm loving their new Everyday E25 earbuds. Check out for 15% off your order.

Jul 16, 2020

Hello, friends!

This is a nice little Q&A episode featuring the following two questions:

  • What can I do about my severe anxiety reaction when wearing a mask?
  • Should I be taking psychiatric medication for my symptoms?

No sponsor this week, but don't forget that my comprehensive anxiety course is still available until this pandemic is done. 

If you have questions or topic suggestions, send them over to

Jul 10, 2020

Hello, everyone! I think you will really enjoy this episode. I sat out in the back yard with some candles, twinkle lights, and a couple glasses of wine with my lovely wife, Joelle and just talked. We really didn't have an agenda, so you are getting a normal raw convo between us.

We ended up talking about a variety of topics including Joelle's new embroidery hobby and my new gardening hobby. We also discuss our poly triad relationship, which didn't end up lasting, Joelle's own identity exploration, and why WE work as a couple. It was such as pleasure to sit down and share these snippets with you all. 

This episodes sponsor is Thrive Market. Check out for $20 shopping credit!

Jul 2, 2020

Hello, friends.

I asked on social media whether you'd prefer a Q&A or a guided meditation and the overwhelming answer was a guided meditation. I get it. We are STILL in uncertain and difficult times. I know that I'm dealing with my fair share of haywire thoughts. So, the purpose of this meditation is to help you get on a little better terms with your thoughts using the visualization of a snowglobe. Enjoy!

Please continue sending me your awesome questions and content suggestions to!

Jun 25, 2020

Hello, all!

This episode features a re-release of one of my favorite episodes of all time. I go through 10 of the most common thinking traps. Also called cognitive distortions, thinking traps are patterns of unhelpful thinking that we all fall into at times. For those with mental health issues, they can become quite common. If you are interested in getting the free eBook based on this, head over to 

Next week will most likely be another Q&A, so keep sending me your awesome questions to

Jun 11, 2020

Hello, friends. I have a Q&A for you today. Please enjoy and stay well. Here are the questions covered:

  • How can I help my (teen) friend at school who seems to have depression?
  • I am questioning my gender identity. What should I do?

As always, you can send me questions to

Today's episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Check out to get up to $20 in shopping credit toward your first order. 

May 28, 2020

Hello, friends! This is a re-release of episode 74, in which I dive deep into 10 tips that you can use to get the most out of therapy. This is great advice whether you are a therapy newbie, a seasoned veteran, or still thinking about whether therapy is for you. Here are the tips I cover:

  1. You don’t need to impress your therapist
  2. Don’t lie to your therapist
  3. Don’t be afraid to get emotional and let it out
  4. Challenge your therapist and correct them
  5. If it’s not working, say something
  6. Find someone you are comfortable with
  7. Get therapy sooner
  8. Take notes and journal
  9. Do the homework and practice the skills
  10. Talk about the relationship between you and your therapist during session

As always, you can send me questions to and don't forget that the Kick Anxiety's Ass course remains open until the quarantine is over (it isn't).

May 22, 2020

Hello, friends! Quick reminder that easing of COVID-19 restrictions does not mean that the pandemic is over. For the sake of at-risk people like me, please continue being smart. 

That said, this episode is a 2-question Q&A covering the following:

  • I feel like I'm getting less out of video therapy. What can I do?
  • I have massive anxiety speaking my 2nd language about certain people. How can I become less anxious?

As always, you can send me questions, topics, or feedback to

May 14, 2020

Hello, friends! This is a nice and easy two-question Q&A episode. I hope you're all taking great care of yourselves and staying healthy. I'll be back next week with another episode! Here are the questions covered this week:

  • I am required to work in the office during COVID and I'm having a hard time. What can I do?
  • I'm anxious about having to do group therapy. Should I avoid it?

As always, you can send me questions to If you haven't yet, make sure to check out my comprehensive online course at

This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Go to to learn more.

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