In this quick episode, I share what has been going on with the podcast and why I haven't been uploading. The truth is, that I am taking a step back from the show. I explain why and what comes next. Part of the episode is me reading off a post that I wrote, which you can read below.

------

I think it’s time to let go of my podcast.

Episode 1 of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast aired on 3/16/2016. Nearly 450 episodes later, I think it might be time to let it go. When I began the show, podcasting wasn’t cool. This was before Huberman Lab and Diary of a CEO. This is before every influencer had their own podcast. I certainly wasn’t one of the first podcasts, but I was in the cohort of podcasters that were influenced by Pat Flynn, Cliff Ravenscraft, and Daniel J. Lewis. Podcasts were the up and coming way to generate an audience and scale your craft. For me, this was a way to bring mental health content to the masses.

In 2014, I released my first book, Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety. I wrote this during my pre-doctoral internship at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego. The book was written and published in a matter of a couple weeks, driven by my frustrations with the mental health field following my wife’s hospitalization (more about that in my TedX talk). Since the market was not yet saturated with potty-mouth self-help books, it was a hit and quickly became my primary source of income.

With the popularity of the book came emails and direct messages asking me questions. As someone who was working toward becoming licensed as a psychologist, it was important that I didn’t give out direct advice to people in a private forum unless I had an established care relationship with the person. That’s when I realized I could make my childhood dreams of having a newspaper advice column come true by starting a podcast.

Truthfully, this was not my first foray into podcasting. I tried to start a podcast about the 90s with my friends called The Good Old Days, but that failed to launch. Then I had a podcast that ran for a good while called The Voices Among Us, in which I interviewed unhoused people on the street about their lives. Those experiences meant that I had the tools and knowledge necessary to launch the Hardcore Self Help Podcast.

And man, has it been great. I have had the opportunity to answer questions about anxiety, relationships, sexuality, school, neuroscience, medications, abusive families, PTSD, depression, bipolar, autism, mushrooms, ketamine, queerness, blackness, multiculturalism, gender identity and so much more.

I’ve been able have great conversations with Seth Godin, Dr. Andrea Letamendi, Kati Morton, Gary Bishop, Dr. Anna Yusim, Tiffany Jenkins, Jenn Harris, Dr. Patrick McGrath, Tony Weaver Jr., Dr. Judy Ho, Dr. David Burns, and many others.

And yet, as the years of the podcast march on, the interest is waning. I will always have pride for being something of an O.G. in the mental health podcasting space, but as my wife said recently, it’s important to make room for other voices and to not force something that isn’t working. I wouldn’t say the podcast isn’t working, but it certainly isn’t what it once was. At one point in time, I was getting enough listens to garner thousands per month in advertising revenue. These days, I’m lucky if an episode hits 5,000 listens in a month. To be clear, that is still a substantial amount, but for the hours that I put into the podcast, the decline in listenership over time becomes hard to justify at a certain point. Here’s a graph from my podcast hosting platform so you can see what I mean:

 I worry a bit about coming off as ungrateful or just chasing numbers. Hopefully it’s clear that I am immensely proud of what I’ve been able to do with the podcast and so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have a platform like this. I have a folder in my email with feedback from people that I have answered questions for, and trust me when I say there is no better pick-me-up on a rainy day than reading through some of them. However, ultimately, I need to figure out the best path forward for myself, for my career, and for my family. Unfortunately, a lot of that comes down to income right now. I need to make more money. While I get many benefits from continuing the podcast, it is no longer lucrative, and it takes up a great deal of time and mental space to maintain.

As someone who always has my hands in many pies, I need to take a step back every so often to re-evaluate my priorities. To weigh the pros and cons of each facet of my career and life and determine where I should be increasing or decreasing my focus. Between my clinical work as a neuropsychologist and therapist, podcasting, writing books, giving professional talks, and being a presence for my family and loved ones, there isn’t an obvious answer. But there is one that I am begrudgingly starting to admit to myself.

I haven’t even made an actual change yet, and I am already starting the grieving process. This project has been so incredibly important to me and central to my life. It’s like letting go of a child. In fact, as I’m writing this, my 10-year-old just came in and told me that he doesn’t want me to quit. Sigh… these choices are never easy. I should know – once upon a time, I wasn’t known as Duff The Psych, I was known as the ASMRtist, Justawhisperingguy. And just like there are some OGs out there who have stuck around since my first ASMR videos, there will be OGs who are still with me a decade from now that started following me from my first podcast episodes.

So, all of this begs the question: What now? I don’t think I am going to be cutting off the podcast cold turkey. For one, I don’t have any interest in getting rid of the entire back catalogue, so I’m not going to suddenly stop paying for my podcast host. I also may occasionally come back to post something on the podcast feed if I record an interview or have the bug to make some content. My Youtube channel will continue to be the primary platform where I release longform content. But it’s time to take a big step back. It’s time to find another avenue to continue building and engaging with my audience. It’s time to put some effort into marketing my next book. It’s time to stop stressing out because the kids are taking a long time to go to sleep or are being too loud so I can’t record. It's time to take a deep breath and step off into the next stage of my life and career. Whatever the hell that may turn out to be.

Love,

Robert

In this insightful interview, I’m joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body.

Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a Brazilian and Native American woman navigating multiple cultural worlds—and how her lived experience shaped her professional path and inspired her new book.

This episode is a rich blend of personal storytelling, professional insight, and hope for a more connected, empathetic world.

Key Discussion Points:

• Marcia’s multicultural background growing up between Pueblo traditions and Brazilian culture

• What it means to experience culture somatically when language isn’t accessible

• The definition and practice of embodied code switching

• How somatic therapy works and how the body holds trauma, history, and healing

• Cultural embodiment and the importance of body-based awareness across social, emotional, and environmental realms

• The internal work of bridging identities that may feel in conflict

• Intergenerational trauma and healing as a form of cultural resilience

• Marcia’s new book as a form of protest and empowerment amid sociopolitical turmoil

• The value of curiosity and reclaiming our sense of wonder

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro to Marcia and her multicultural upbringing
04:30 – Advocating through names and early sense of identity
09:00 – Growing up between cultures and learning through somatic experience
14:00 – Noticing what it feels like to “not belong” in any cultural space
17:00 – The physical experience of fitting in (or not)
20:00 – What is somatic counseling and body-based psychotherapy?
24:00 – Holding multiple identities and forming relationships between them
28:00 – Embodied code switching: definitions and origins
35:00 – Identity, trauma, and resilience in the nervous system
40:00 – Diversity, empathy, and learning across differences
43:30 – Somatics, symbolism, and healing in therapy
47:00 – Marcia’s career in advocacy and transition to therapy
52:00 – Her new book as resistance and hope in a polarized world
58:30 – Book structure, audience, and why it matters now
1:06:00 – Final reflections on curiosity, awareness, and personal power

Guest Links:

Website: https://www.embodiedculture.com
Book Info & Resources: https://www.embodiedcodeswitching.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marciabonatowarren
Buy the Book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Movement-Identity-Multiculturalism-Awareness-Code-Switching/dp/1839978376

Contact Me:

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Website: https://duffthepsych.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review, sharing it with a friend, or tagging me on social to let me know your thoughts. And if Marcia’s story resonated with you, I’d love to hear how this conversation landed.

In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format.

The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment.

The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness after a recent divorce. After a disappointing family trip, they wonder if happiness is still possible in this new chapter of life. Dr. Duff breaks down the process of emotional adjustment, the importance of realistic expectations, and how small steps can lead to renewed hope and connection.

As always, this episode is filled with empathy, nuance, and practical encouragement for anyone going through dark or uncertain times.

Key Discussion Points

• The complexities of publishing a memoir about trauma and abuse

• Understanding the impact of complex PTSD and generational trauma

• Navigating family threats and estrangement with personal boundaries

• Grieving the loss of an idealized future after divorce

• Why happiness doesn’t have to look how you thought it would

• Tips for finding support and resilience as a single parent

• The value of community, therapy, and chosen family

Timestamps

00:00 – Intro and personal update
03:00 – Content warning for the first question
04:05 – Listener story: Surviving severe childhood abuse and family rejection
07:00 – Dr. Duff reflects on complex PTSD and trauma recovery
08:30 – The power of isolation in abusive systems
10:00 – Complicated dynamics with the listener’s mother
11:30 – Should I publish my book about my trauma?
13:00 – Weighing the risks and benefits of publishing under a pseudonym
14:30 – Standing in your truth despite family pushback
15:00 – Listener story: Facing loneliness and doubt after divorce
16:30 – Grieving the version of life you hoped for
18:00 – Family disappointment and changing dynamics
19:30 – The importance of time and realistic expectations
21:00 – Children often remember things differently than we expect
22:00 – Challenging fatalistic thoughts about the future
23:30 – Modeling resilience and authenticity for your kids
24:30 – Final thoughts and encouragement

Mentioned in This Episode

• Episode 130: Complex PTSD – What It Is and How to Recover

• YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• More mental health content at: https://www.duffthepsych.com

Submit a Question

Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Reach out any time:

📧 Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com
🌐 Website: duffthepsych.com
📷 Instagram: instagram.com/duffthepsych
📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@duffthepsych

Support the Show

If you’ve gotten something out of the podcast and haven’t left a review yet, now’s a perfect time—especially if you’re an Apple Podcasts listener. We're close to hitting 1,000 reviews, and every one helps others find the show and supports the mission of accessible mental health content.

In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships.

The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment.

The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife’s emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support.

Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex relationship dynamics, this episode offers validation, practical advice, and hope.

Key Discussion Points

Question 1: Genetic Anxiety and Benzodiazepines

• Anxiety can be partially genetic—up to 50% of risk may be inherited.

• Environmental factors, early life experiences, and chronic stress also play key roles.

• Long-term anxiety can even change brain structures like the amygdala.

• Benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Klonopin can be risky for older adults, but abrupt changes in medication are harmful and inappropriate.

• Importance of finding the right provider—psychiatric care may be more appropriate than primary care in severe cases.

• Options like partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, or even voluntary hospitalization if suicidal thoughts worsen.

• Consideration of alternative treatments like TMS, ketamine therapy, EMDR, or comprehensive medical workups.

• Encouragement and validation that meaningful change is possible—even later in life.

Question 2: Healing from Infidelity

• Emotional and physical infidelity can lead to feelings of inadequacy and intense emotional reactivity.

• The resurfacing of past wounds during present-day arguments is a trauma response.

• Healing takes time; both partners must commit to rebuilding trust.

• Grounding, breathing, and self-regulation tools are essential in emotional moments.

• Individual therapy and journaling can help process complex feelings and trauma.

• Couples therapy with a specialist in infidelity recovery can provide structure and support.

• It's possible to rebuild a stronger relationship—but it takes honest effort from both sides.

Timestamps

00:00 – Intro
01:12 – Listener question: Is anxiety genetic?
03:22 – Genetics vs. environment in anxiety development
05:10 – Medication history and benzodiazepine concerns for older adults
08:45 – Advocating for appropriate psychiatric care
12:30 – Suicidal thoughts and higher levels of support
14:50 – Exploring alternative and emerging treatment options
17:15 – Words of encouragement and validation
19:45 – Listener question: Coping with infidelity and feeling inadequate
21:20 – Emotional fallout and trauma from betrayal
24:10 – Regulating emotional responses during arguments
26:00 – The role of time, patience, and couples therapy
28:20 – Journaling and individual processing for long-term healing
31:10 – Rebuilding a stronger relationship after infidelity
33:00 – Closing thoughts and takeaways

Resources & Links

• Website: http://duffthepsych.com

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If today’s episode resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who could use the support. Your stories and questions continue to make this podcast what it is—thank you for being here.

Until next time, take care and keep pushing forward. You've got this.

Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!

Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/

In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder.

Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience.

Timestamps:

• [00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon!

• [02:00] – What the book covers: real questions, practical answers, case studies, and clear explanations.

• [03:00] – Full reading of the book’s introduction, covering the basics of bipolar disorder, diagnostic criteria, and case study of Olivia, a professional managing bipolar I.

• [18:00] – Full chapter reading: Navigating college after a bipolar episode.

• [24:00] – The importance of self-advocacy, understanding accommodations, and legal rights for students and employees with bipolar disorder.

• [37:00] – Encouragement and final thoughts: Pre-order now and stay tuned for updates on the print and audiobook releases.

Key Takeaways:

• Bipolar Answers is designed to cut through misinformation and offer real, actionable advice.

• Bipolar disorder is complex and often misunderstood—this book provides a clear and stigma-free breakdown.

• Returning to school or work after a bipolar episode can be daunting, but knowing your rights and advocating for yourself can make all the difference.

• The book includes real-life examples, diagnostic clarifications, and practical tools for individuals living with bipolar and those supporting them.

Connect with Dr. Robert Duff:

• Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might find it helpful! Your support means the world.

Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame

In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The first question is from someone who is deeply affected by their environment, living in a house that serves as a constant PTSD trigger. They want to move forward but feel completely stuck. The second question is about dealing with strong emotional reactions in public and the embarrassment that follows. I offer compassionate, practical advice to help both listeners begin taking steps toward healing and self-acceptance.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Understanding why trauma responses persist and how they impact daily life

• The role of avoidance in PTSD and how to begin addressing it

• Practical strategies for tackling overwhelming life changes

• How to communicate with a therapist about deeply buried trauma

• The importance of seeking trauma-informed therapy and possible medication options

• Exposure techniques for gradually confronting PTSD triggers

• Journaling as a tool for processing trauma at your own pace

• Overcoming embarrassment when experiencing emotional reactions in public

• Using gratitude as a way to shift focus from shame to connection

• Coping strategies to regulate emotions and build resilience

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction & request for listener questions
02:00 – Listener question: Living in a house that triggers PTSD
05:00 – Why trauma responses persist and the role of avoidance
10:00 – Communicating openly with a therapist about severe trauma
12:00 – Seeking trauma-informed therapy and medication considerations
16:00 – Making an actionable plan to move forward and sell the house
21:00 – Practical steps to start addressing home repairs and tasks
22:00 – Listener question: Managing PTSD emotional reactions in public
24:00 – Using gratitude to counter feelings of shame and embarrassment
27:00 – Grounding techniques and exposure exercises to build resilience
30:00 – The importance of seeking support from others
32:00 – Closing thoughts & listener engagement request

Connect with Me:

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with the incredible psychotherapist and author, Terri Cole, to discuss high-functioning codependency, boundaries, and how we can break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Terri shares her own journey from working in the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist and how her personal struggles with boundaries led her to specialize in this area. We dive deep into the traits of high-functioning codependency, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take to create healthier relationships and reclaim your inner peace.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Terri’s journey from talent agent to psychotherapist

• Recognizing high-functioning codependency in yourself

• How childhood and societal expectations shape codependency

• The role of self-awareness and therapy in breaking codependency patterns

• Practical tools for overcoming codependent tendencies

• The importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no

• How to conduct a resentment inventory and why it’s helpful

• Addressing difficult family dynamics around social and political issues

• How Terri’s book, Too Much, can help you break free from codependency

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction to Terri Cole and her background
01:00 – How Terri transitioned from talent agent to psychotherapist
16:00 – Recognizing high-functioning codependency
25:00 – Childhood & societal influences on codependency
30:00 – The importance of self-awareness and therapy
39:00 – Practical tools for overcoming codependency
42:00 – Navigating difficult family dynamics
49:00 – Setting boundaries and learning to say no
52:00 – Conducting a resentment inventory
58:00 – How Too Much can help you break free

Resources Mentioned:

• Too Much by Terri Cole: https://www.terricole.com

• High-Functioning Codependency Toolkit: https://www.terricole.com/HFC

• Mastermind program (Flourish): https://www.terricole.com/flourish

• Terri’s membership community: https://www.terricole.com/TCM

• The Terri Cole Show Podcast: https://www.terricole.com/podcast

Connect with Me:

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

Episode 431: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Coaching & Persistent Depression

Welcome to another episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Dr. Robert Duff! In this Q&A episode, Dr. Duff tackles two insightful listener questions on very different but equally important mental health topics.

Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Coaching

A listener working as an individual sports coach seeks advice on how to best support a talented but highly resistant student who displays signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Dr. Duff dives into:

• What PDA is and how it manifests in individuals, particularly in relation to autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions.

• The importance of reframing PDA as a high drive for autonomy rather than defiance.

• Practical coaching strategies to work around demand avoidance, including collaborative goal setting, offering choices, and making training sessions more engaging and playful.

• The significance of open-ended questions and genuine curiosity in understanding the root of a student’s resistance.

Question 2: Chronic Low-Grade Depression (Persistent Depressive Disorder)

A listener describes their struggle with long-term, low-grade depression despite attempts with medication and therapy. Dr. Duff provides insights into:

• Understanding Persistent Depressive Disorder (formerly known as dysthymia) and how it differs from episodic major depression.

• Behavioral activation as a treatment approach, including strategies for identifying and engaging in potentially enjoyable activities despite a lack of motivation or pleasure.

• The five-minute rule to help overcome resistance to activities.

• Medication considerations, including alternatives like Wellbutrin (bupropion) and the combination drug Auvelity, which may have fewer side effects.

• Non-medication treatments such as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and ketamine therapy.

• The importance of evaluating life circumstances to identify external contributors to chronic depression, such as hidden identity struggles or unsatisfying relationships.

Chapters

[00:00] Intro and updates on Dr. Duff’s upcoming bipolar book
[03:00] Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in coaching
[12:00] Strategies for engaging students with PDA
[14:00] Question 2: Chronic low-grade depression and treatment options
[19:00] Behavioral activation and the five-minute rule
[23:00] Medication alternatives and non-pharmacological treatments
[27:00] Life circumstances and their role in persistent depression
[28:00] Outro and listener support requests

Resources & Links

• Dr. Duff’s website: http://duffthepsych.com

• Email your questions: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Follow Dr. Duff on Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

• Dr. Duff’s book “Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression”: https://www.amazon.com/Hardcore-Self-Help-Depression/dp/B01J4H5A40

• Previous episodes on TMS and ketamine treatments: http://duffthepsych.com/podcast

• More on ketamine treatments: https://duffthepsych.com/ect-and-ketamine/

Thank you for tuning in! If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with a friend or leaving a review. Your support helps the podcast grow and reach more people who need it. See you next time!

Episode 430: Integrative Approaches to Recovery with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri

In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri, also known as Dr. Mala, to discuss her integrative approach to addiction recovery, rehabilitation, and mental health treatment. Dr. Mala shares her personal journey that led her into the field, the importance of holistic and individualized treatment, and how she has worked to break down barriers in accessing quality care.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Dr. Mala’s personal journey into psychology and addiction recovery work

• The challenges of pushing for integrative mental health care

• How trauma informed her approach to treatment

• The importance of cultural competence in mental health and recovery

• Understanding addiction recovery as a non-linear process

• The necessity of breaking isolation in the recovery journey

• The evolving role of virtual therapy and accessibility in mental health care

• How alternative and holistic approaches such as yoga, meditation, and adventure therapy are valuable in rehabilitation

• The role of family and loved ones in supporting recovery

• How to advocate for personalized treatment if current options aren’t working

• Resources available through Recovery.com for both individuals and families

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Mala and her background
02:00 – How Dr. Mala entered the field of psychology and recovery
06:00 – Why she emphasizes integrative approaches in treatment
10:00 – Challenges in advocating for a holistic recovery model
12:00 – Misconceptions about addiction and recovery
16:00 – The importance of connection and breaking isolation
21:00 – Alternative therapeutic approaches that work
27:00 – The role of family and community in recovery
33:00 – Steps to take if current treatment isn’t effective
38:00 – Recovery.com and available resources
44:00 – Final words of wisdom for those struggling or supporting a loved one

Resources:

• Recovery.com: https://www.recovery.com

• State of Recovery 2025: https://recovery.com/news/the-2025-state-of-recovery-5-trends-in-behavioral-health-you-need-to-know-about/
• Giving Voice to Depression Podcast: https://www.givingvoicetodepression.com

Connect with Dr. Mala:

• Recovery.com Podcast: https://www.recovery.com/podcast

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recoverydotcom

Connect with Me:

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I answer two deeply personal and important listener questions. The first comes from a trans man struggling with the impact of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, fear for his safety, and overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. We talk about tangible ways to navigate the stress of doomscrolling, finding community, and taking back control in uncertain times.

The second question dives into the pain of heartbreak—specifically, the loss of a best friend after unrequited love. I discuss how to process grief, handle regret, and move forward when a relationship changes in ways you didn’t expect. Whether you're facing fear, loss, or uncertainty, this episode offers support, validation, and practical steps to help you through it.

Chapters:

00:00 — Intro: You Are Seen, You Are Valid
02:00 — Shoutout to the Finch App: A Fun Self-Care Tool
03:00 — Coping with Fear & Uncertainty as a Trans Person in a Hostile Climate
10:30 — Managing Doomscrolling & Social Media Overwhelm
14:00 — The Importance of Community & Seeking Safe Spaces
18:00 — Mental Health Resources & Seeking Support
19:00 — Handling Unrequited Love & The Pain of Heartbreak
22:30 — Why You’re Not to Blame for How Things Changed
24:00 — Navigating Grief & Loss in Relationships
27:30 — The Power of Solo Time & Rebuilding Your Life
29:00 — Closing Thoughts & Next Episode Preview

Resources & Links:

• Finch App – A self-care companion that makes mental health a little more fun! Download here
• Trans Lifeline – www.translifeline.org | (877) 565-8860
• The Trevor Project – www.thetrevorproject.org | Crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth
• Find a Therapist – www.psychologytoday.com

About the Podcast

I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My goal is to break down mental health topics into real, relatable, and actionable advice. Whether it's tackling anxiety, navigating personal challenges, or discussing the latest in psychology, I’m here to help you thrive.

Connect With Me:

🌐 Website: www.duffthepsych.com
📷 Instagram: @duffthepsych
🎥 YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel

💙 If this episode resonates with you, please rate & review the podcast, and share it with someone who might need it. You are not alone.

#MentalHealth #LGBTQSupport #Heartbreak #CopingSkills #SelfCare #Doomscrolling #HardcoreSelfHelp

In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing.

Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs.

We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbreaking resource for those suffering from this deeply ingrained struggle.

If you’ve ever wrestled with feelings of unworthiness or struggled to overcome negative beliefs about yourself, this episode is packed with strategies, hope, and actionable advice to help you move toward a healthier relationship with yourself.

Chapters:

00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Blaise Aguirre
02:00 — From Philosophy to Psychiatry: Dr. Aguirre’s Career Path
07:30 — Understanding Self-Hatred: How It Develops and Why It Persists
15:00 — The Role of Validation in Parenting and Mental Health
20:45 — The DBT Approach: Why Skills-Based Therapy Works for BPD and Self-Hatred
27:00 — Breaking Down Self-Hatred: Separating It from the Self
34:20 — Overcoming Self-Hatred: Practical Tools and Steps for Healing
40:15 — The Importance of Compassionate Treatment in Mental Health Care
45:00 — A Sneak Peek Into I Hate Myself
50:20 — What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know
57:00 — Dr. Aguirre’s Final Thoughts on Healing and Hope

About the Podcast

I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all designed to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.

Guest Links:

• Dr. Blaise Aguirre’s Website: www.IHateMyselfBook.com
• Learn More About DBT: McLean Hospital’s DBT Program
• I Hate Myself: Dr. Aguirre’s Latest Book (Coming February 2025)

Connect With Me:

• Website: duffthepsych.com
• Instagram: @duffthepsych
• YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel

Sponsored By:

This episode is brought to you by NoCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If intrusive thoughts and compulsions are impacting your daily life, NoCD offers specialized Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit http://learn.nocd.com/hardcore.

Hope you find this conversation as inspiring and thought-provoking as I did! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and takeaways in the comments.

Tags:

#MentalHealth #SelfHatred #BlaiseAguirre #DBT #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SelfCompassion #TraumaHealing #Parenting #Mindfulness #SelfHelp

In this special episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I lead you through a guided meditation designed to help you let go of mental burdens and find focus in an overwhelming world. Using visualization techniques and intentional breathing exercises, this meditation offers a space to acknowledge your stressors, release tension, and tap into a feeling of calm and clarity.

This experience is set in a vivid mindscape of space, where you can imagine yourself aboard a futuristic spacecraft, surrounded by the beauty of the cosmos. Together, we’ll navigate through moments of recognition, release, and rejuvenation. By the end of this session, you’ll feel more centered and grounded, with a renewed connection to how you’d like to move forward.

Whether you’re a seasoned meditator or new to mindfulness, this episode is a judgment-free zone to focus on yourself. Bookmark it to return to anytime you need a mental reset.

Sponsor
This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you’re stuck in cycles of overthinking, compulsive behaviors, or intrusive thoughts, NOCD offers specialized treatment using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—a gold-standard therapy for OCD.

They provide virtual sessions with licensed therapists, accept many major insurance plans, and offer support between sessions to make treatment as accessible as possible.

To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit http://learn.nocd.com/hardcore. For more insights on OCD and ERP, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath in episode 406 of this podcast.

Chapters:

• 00:15 — Introduction: Why This Meditation Matters
• 03:00 — Sponsor: NOCD – Treatment for OCD Symptoms
• 04:30 — Setting the Scene: Guided Visualization in Space
• 08:00 — Acknowledging and Offloading Mental Burdens
• 13:00 — Breathing for Release: Techniques to Let Go
• 17:00 — Choosing Your Focus and Setting Your Intention
• 19:30 — Relaxation Breathing and Body Scan
• 25:00 — Final Reflections and Letting the Experience Settle

About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to make mental health topics relatable and actionable. Whether through guided meditations like this one, Q&A sessions, or expert interviews, I aim to help you navigate life’s challenges with clarity and confidence.

Connect With Me:

• Website: https://duffthepsych.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
• YouTube: https://youtube.com/duffthepsych

Hashtags:
#GuidedMeditation #Mindfulness #MentalHealth #Relaxation #StressRelief #SelfHelp

In this inspiring episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jordan Grumet, a hospice director, author, and podcast host, to explore how we can transform our lives by embracing the concept of “little p purpose.” Dr. Grumet shares insights from his latest book, The Purpose Code, which offers actionable strategies to uncover and build a meaningful life, regardless of your circumstances.

Our conversation dives deep into the difference between “big P Purpose” (society’s lofty, often unattainable ideals) and “little p purpose” (daily actions that bring joy and meaning). Dr. Grumet shares his personal journey—from losing his father at a young age to becoming a physician driven by unresolved trauma, to ultimately finding fulfillment by pursuing his passions for writing, speaking, and connecting with others.

Key takeaways from our discussion include practical ways to recognize your purpose anchors, how to turn regrets into motivations, and why pursuing joy in small, intentional ways can lead to profound impact and lasting legacy. We also explore how Dr. Grumet’s work in hospice has shaped his understanding of what truly matters in life, highlighting lessons from those at the end of their journeys.

This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone feeling stuck, searching for meaning, or simply looking to live with more intentionality and joy.

Sponsor
This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you're caught in an endless loop of “what-ifs” or struggling with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, NOCD offers specialized, evidence-based therapy designed just for OCD—Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). They accept many major insurance plans, making it accessible and affordable, with support available between therapy sessions.

To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit http://learn.nocd.com/hardcore. Plus, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath, NOCD’s Chief Clinical Officer, on episode 406 of this podcast to learn more about OCD and their approach.

Chapters:

• 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Jordan Grumet
• 02:00 — Finding Purpose After Loss: Dr. Grumet’s Early Life
• 06:15 — Purpose Anchors: Joyful Work vs. Goal-Oriented Burnout
• 10:45 — Lessons from the Hospice Life Review
• 16:30 — Regrets of the Dying: Turning Regret into Action
• 20:00 — Building Purpose When You Feel Stuck
• 24:15 — Tools and Levers: Joy of Addition and Art of Subtraction
• 30:00 — The Difference Between Meaning and Purpose
• 37:00 — How Small Joys Create Big Impact and Legacy
• 44:15 — Practical Steps to Start Building a Purposeful Life
• 50:30 — Final Takeaways: Finding Your Purpose Anchors

About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and strategies for living authentically and fulfilling your potential.

Guest Links

• Dr. Grumet’s Website: https://jordangrumet.com
• The Purpose Code: https://jordangrumet.com/books
• Podcast: https://www.earnandinvest.com/episodes

Connect With Me:

• Website: https://duffthepsych.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
• YouTube: https://youtube.com/duffthepsych

#MentalHealth #Purpose #PersonalDevelopment #Legacy #SelfHelp #Mindfulness