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The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at http://hardcoreselfhelp.com
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The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
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Now displaying: 2023
Jun 9, 2023

Hello, friends! In this episode, I tackle two great listener questions about relationships. The first one comes from someone with borderline personality disorder who would like to figure out if and when they should reveal this to potential partners. The second question comes all the way from Columbia and features someone who is concerned about how enmeshed her boyfriend is with his mother.

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode354 

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This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you are looking for support and perspective, fill out a quick questionnaire at http://betterhelp.com/duff to get quickly matched with a licensed therapist and receive 10% off your first month!

Jun 2, 2023
Hello, friends! I hope you are all doing well.
 
Our first question comes from a listener who reached out to express their appreciation for the show, my course, and books. They share a childhood experience of being in a dodge car accident where they were hit from behind, resulting in a significant lump on their head and feelings of sickness and disorientation. They recently heard me speak about frontal lobe damage and its potential effects, which resonated with them. They also suspect they may be undiagnosed autistic. They are concerned about the possibility of having sustained a brain injury and whether an MRI at their current age (31) would reveal any long-term effects. This uncertainty has brought up feelings of betrayal and neglect. I provide insight into the likelihood of detecting an old brain injury on an MRI and offer guidance on the next steps to gain clarity and peace of mind.
 
Moving on to our second question, a listener in their late twenties shares their struggle with assessing whether to judge people based on how they treat others or solely on how they treat them. They describe ending relationships with men who exhibited disrespectful behavior towards other women, as well as navigating concerns about a close platonic female friend who has made questionable moral choices. They ponder whether to judge people based on their life choices or patterns, and if it's necessary to align values with others or accept them as they are. I delve into the complexities of these situations, emphasizing the importance of personal boundaries, unconditional positive regard, and self-reflection in determining how to approach relationships.
 
As always, I appreciate your support and engagement with the show. You can send your questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com, and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode353.
 
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This episode is sponsored by Mindbloom, the leader in at-home ketamine treatment. If you are struggling with depression and anxiety, try ketamine treatment from the safety and comfort of your own home and get $100 off at http://mindbloom.com/duff with the code duff at checkout.
May 26, 2023

Hello, friends! It's been an interesting week for me, which I address at the start of the episode. From there, I share with you a previous episode of the show that I wanted to make sure that you've heard! This is all about staying focused. It's a great episode for anyone that might struggle with ADHD or simply has trouble concentrating from time to time. Here are the tips I cover:

  1. Limit distractions
  2. Adjust your space - physical and digital
  3. Do NOT multitask
  4. Practice mindfulness meditation frequently
  5. Journal/Plan every day
  6. Check your planner at least 3x per day
  7. Set yourself up with an outline before leaving a task
  8. Keep a notebook nearby for impulsive thoughts that can wait
  9. Force yourself to prioritize
  10. If you take it out, put it back
  11. Don't procrastinate - if it takes less than a minute do it (unless you're in the middle of something else)
  12. Keep a place for your small things
  13. Make a mise en place for your workplaces
  14. Use neutral inputs to satisfy your attention hunger (white noise etc)
  15. Take breaks for movement
  16. Abort when you're in to deep
  17. Work in shifts
  18. Don't use your partner as a coach
  19. Use the solution that works, whether it's perfect or not
  20. Study yourself

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Don't forget to take care of yourself, so that you can keep being a great support for others. Try online therapy and get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/duff

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode352

 

May 19, 2023

Hello, friends! This is a short and sweet episode. No ads today, but I have two awesome listener questions. 

First, I tackle a question from someone that feels the end of their relationship is inevitable due to moving to another state and they are already struggling with feelings of grief.

The second question is from someone with a background of trauma that wants advice about how to deal with their friend's angry outbursts.

I hope you enjoy!

 

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode351

 

May 12, 2023

Hello, friends! I hope you are all doing well. Special shout out to the moms out there this week! In this episode, I two awesome listener questions. 

Our first question comes from a listener who has been enjoying the podcast and requests an episode focused on "daddy issues." They express curiosity about the causes and potential solutions surrounding this concept. In response to this inquiry, we will delve into the complexities of "daddy issues," examining various contributing factors and discussing potential strategies for healing and personal development.

Moving on to our second question, a long-time listener writes in for the first time, sharing their ongoing struggle with severe social anxiety. They describe how their anxiety often leads to dissociation during conversations, causing them to make impulsive decisions to end interactions prematurely. Despite trying conventional treatments such as CBT, exposure therapy, medication, and group therapy, the listener feels disheartened by the lack of progress and wonders if there are other options available. We'll explore alternative approaches and offer insights on how to navigate social anxiety in a more empowering way.

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode350

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Today's episode is brought to you by Mindbloom, the leader in at-home ketamine therapy for depression and anxiety. You can get $100 off your first treatment at http://mindbloom.com/duff with the code "duff". 

May 5, 2023
Hello, friends! In this episode, I answer two listener questions.
 
The first question is from a listener who has been with her boyfriend for over 10 years, but suspects he is a narcissist and compulsive liar. She believes that a car accident at 17, which resulted in physical injuries as well as a TBI, may have stunted his development. The listener is struggling with her boyfriend's lying behavior and wonders if he's lying about their relationship too. She asks how to deal with the lying and gaslighting, and how to tell if her boyfriend's love for her is genuine.
 
In the second question, a listener shares her concerns about her younger sister's emotional development, given their mother's unpredictable and intense reactions to normal child behavior. The listener worries about her sister's mental health and emotional growth, and wants her mother to be more gentle and understanding towards her. However, the listener is struggling with confronting her mother due to past fear of her reactions. She asks for advice on how to approach the situation.
 
As always, you can send your questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com, and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode349.
 
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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Don't lose yourself in the shuffle. Get linked up with a licensed therapist completely online and get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/duff 
Apr 28, 2023
Like most of the world, I have been obsessed with AI tools such as ChatGPT. However, I think they are more than a gimmick. I have been using them every single day to help improve my work and personal life. In this episode, I walk you through the ways that I use ChatGPT and other AI models and I also provide you with some ideas about how you can use them to improve your own life and mental health.
 
As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode348
 
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp - if you are in a position where you put yourself last and other first, you may be at risk of burnout. Get the help and perspective that you need from a licensed professional at betterhelp.com/duff for 10% off. 
Apr 21, 2023
Hello, friends! This one is a bit of a doozy. Please be aware that the subject matter is somewhat more intense than other episodes recently. In this one, I tackle the following listener questions:
  • Should I get treatment for my excessive concerns about germs and contamination? How can I re-engage socially with the continuing concerns about COVID-19?
  • My partner violated my consent and sexual boundaries repeatedly, but they seem sorry and I still love them. What can I do?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode347

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Sponsors:

This episode is brought to you by Mindbloom - try at-home Ketamine therapy on your terms and get $100 off your first treatment at mindbloom.com/duff with the promo code duff.

This episode is also brought to you by Air Doctor. If you are in the market for an amazing air purifier, check out airdoctorpro.com and use the promo code duff for a whopping 40% off!

Apr 14, 2023
Hello, friends! In this episode, I tackle one awesome question from a listener. This person has treatment resistant depression and bipolar. Their mania is well-controlled, but they need a higher level of treatment for the depression. Their psychiatrist suggested either ketamine of electroconvulsive therapy, so in this episode, I break down everything you need to know about these treatments.
 
As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com.
 
Apr 7, 2023

Hello, friends! I hope that you are taking good care of yourselves. We are back to the Q&A format this week with the following amazing listener questions:

  • I am stable on bipolar medications, but I hate the side effects. What can I do?
  • My CBT therapy just seems to worsen my mood. How can I make it more helpful?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com

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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get affordable counseling from a licensed therapist completely online at http://betterhelp.com/duff 

Mar 31, 2023

Hey, friends! This episode is a little different. Rather than taking listener questions, I decided to share something that is working really well for me. I take you through a five-step process for doing what I like to call "self-therapy." This is usually done while I am in the car or walking the dog. I highly suggest you also talk out loud to yourself like a weirdo.

FYI: The website is still under construction. It broke badly and we need to rebuild it. It should be up and runing again soon. In the meantime, if you'd like to send me a question for an upcoming episode of the show, please shoot an email to duffthepsych@gmail.com

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This episode is brought to you by AirDoctor. AirDoctor is an amazing air purifier that works quickly enough to circulate the air in an average room four times per hour. It also traps particles as small as 0.003 microns in size. Head over to http://airdoctorpro.com and use the promo code DUFF for up to 40% off (A value of up to $300).

Mar 24, 2023

Hello, friends! Huge apologies - the website is currently down. I hope that it is up again soon! In this episode, I answer the following questions:

  • I dissociate whenever I try to talk about my feelings. How can I overcome this?
  • Bad things seem to happen after I masturbate. Am I causing bad things to happen?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode343 (once the website is back up).

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Sponsor for this episode is Betterhelp. If you are like the individuals in this episode and could use some help with personal exploration, try professional therapy done completely online. Head over to betterhelp.com/duff for 10% off your first month.

I mention a resource for looking at spurious correlations in the episode. You can find that at https://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

 

Mar 17, 2023

Hello, everyone. I hope you are treating yourselves well. Q&A episode this week featuring the following great listener questions:

  • I have had severe depression and suicidal ideation for the past 25 years and nothing is working. Aside from going into the hospital or an IOP program, what can I do?
  • Can you talk about how the thyroid is related to mood and mental health?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode342

No sponsors this week, so be sure to go check out my author page to find more resources!

Mar 10, 2023

Hello, friends! Short and sweet Q&A episode here. Before jumping into the questions, I share a couple strategies that are working well for me right now. Then, I cover the following questions:

  • As a teenager, will my therapist have to report if I tell them about my parents abusing me?
  • I am a therapist and found a new position that will allow me to make a better living, but it means my fees will increase. How can I deal with this?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode341

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This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by BetterHelp.

If you are in a mental health slump, consider reaching out to a licensed professional to help. BetterHelp has a large counselor network and you can begin chatting with someone very quickly. Check out betterhelp.com/duff to get 10% off your first month.

Mar 3, 2023

Hello, friends! I hope you enjoy this awesome Q&A episode featuring the following listener questions:

  • Why do my intrusive thoughts from OCD seem to impact the environment, such as the television?
  • How can I find a therapist that is awesome like you? I am on my fourth try with no luck.

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode340

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This episode is brought to you by Mindbloom and Air Doctor.

Mindbloom provides innovative at-home ketamine treatments, which can be extremely helpful for those with anxiety and depression. Their research showed that 89% of over 1,200 participants saw improvement after just two sessions. Head over to mindbloom.com/duff and use the promo code DUFF for $100 off your first six-session program.

Air Doctor is an at-home air purifier that filters out nearly 100% of particals as small as .003 microns. It is whisper quiet and super easy to use. If you suffer from horrendous allergies like me, check out airdoctorpro.com and use the promo code DUFF for up to $300 off!

Feb 25, 2023

Hello, everyone! I hope that you are staying safe out there if you are in an area with wild weather conditions. I am having a very cozy weekend. This week, we have a Q&A episoed with the following:

  • I spent years obtaining my degree, but I can't find a job that utilizes it. What can I do?
  • I want to feel more in therapy, but I can't access the emotion. How can I move forward?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode339

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This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by BetterHelp.

If you are in a mental health slump, consider reaching out to a licensed professional to help. BetterHelp has a large counselor network and you can begin chatting with someone very quickly. Check out betterhelp.com/duff to get 10% off your first month.

Feb 17, 2023

Hi, friends!

In this episode, I do a deep dive into postpartum mental illness including baby blues, postpartum depression, and postpartum psychosis. This was requested by a number of listeners due to the Lindsay Clancy case, which I discuss briefly in the episode. 

Please be aware that I do discuss topics such as infanticide, suicide, and the specific case of Lindsay Clancy. However, I do not go into details of what happened and there are no explicit descriptions.

As always, you can send me questions for future episodes to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode338

 

Feb 10, 2023

Hello, everyone. Short and sweet Q&A episode here featuring the following:

  • I made a mistake and lost my friend of 20 years. What can I do about the loneliness and hopelessness I feel now?
  • My husband had a brain injury when out daughter was young and now she does not want to be around him because of his behavior. What can I do?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode

------

This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by BetterHelp.

If you are in a mental health slump, consider reaching out to a licensed professional to help. BetterHelp has a large counselor network and you can begin chatting with someone very quickly. Check out betterhelp.com/duff to get 10% off your first month.

Feb 4, 2023

Hey, friends! I hope that you are doing well. For this episode, we are back to the usual Q&A format with a ltitle less intensity than last episode. Here is what I cover:

  • What can I do about my adult children that have completely ghosted me?
  • How can I tell me partner that I'm still grieving my ex that died?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode336.


This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by Magic Mind and Mindbloom.

Magic Mind contains a magical combination of 12 active ingredients, scientifically designed to improve energy, improve focus, decrease stress, and improve mood — all things that combined, improve your productivity. Get 40% off your subscription at www.magicmind.co/duff with my discount code DUFF20.

Mindbloom is the leader in at-home ketamine therapy for people looking for a new way to treat their anxiety and depression. They combine science-backed medicine with a guided treatment plan that is both affordable and fast-acting. Right now, Mindbloom is offering listeners $100 off their first six session program when you sign up at mindbloom.com/DUFF and use promo code DUFF at checkout.

Jan 27, 2023

Hello, friends. Something a little different today. No intro or sponsors. Just a frank response from me to someone that feels that their best option is to stop living. Someone wrote in who is imminently suicidal. Therefore, the contents of this episode might not be appropriate for everyone. Please keep that in mind.

You are not alone.

http://duffthepsych.com/emergency

http://duffthepsych.com/suicide

Jan 20, 2023

Hey, everyone! Another Q&A episode for you here featuring the following questions:

  • How can I let go of control when I don't like the way other people do things?
  • Is it dangerous to take more medications for my depression while I am drinking alcohol? What other options do I have?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode334

 


This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by BetterHelp.

If you are in a mental health slump, consider reaching out to a licensed professional to help. BetterHelp has a large counselor network and you can begin chatting with someone very quickly. Check out betterhelp.com/duff to get 10% off your first month.

Jan 13, 2023

aHello, everyone! I hope you are staying safe and dry(ish) out there. In this episode, I address the following:

  • How can I find better partners when I tend to find people with the same personality types?
  • How can I work on me eating disorder while working from home?

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode333

Don't forget to check out (and review) my new book of dating and relationship questions!

 


This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by Mindbloom.

Mindbloom is the leader in at-home ketamine therapy for people looking for a new way to treat their anxiety and depression. They combine science-backed medicine with a guided treatment plan that is both affordable and fast-acting. Right now, Mindbloom is offering listeners $100 off their first six session program when you sign up at mindbloom.com/DUFF and use promo code DUFF at checkout.

Jan 6, 2023

Hello, everyone! Happy new year! In this episode, I review my personal progress and challenges over the past year, reveal my word for the year of 2023, and talk about my approach/focus for the upcoming year. Enjoy!

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode332


This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you could use some help easing into the new year, match quickly to a licensed therapist and work with them on your schedule, completely online. Visit http://betterhelp.com/duff for 10% off your first month.

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