The Hardcore Self Help Podcast

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at
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The Hardcore Self Help Podcast




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Oct 18, 2018

In this episode, I take a question from someone about how they can help their romantic partner who is great most of the time but gets suicidal or violent every so often. How can she get him to go to therapy or recognize the that there are actual issues going on? I give my perspective on this question and also spend some time defining bipolar disorder. Enjoy!

For full episode notes, check out and if you have a question or suggestion for the podcast, send it over to

Oct 11, 2018

In this episode, I'm trying something slightly different. Rather than taking three questions, I'm taking one and using it as a jumping off point to go in-dept into topics related to the question. Sort of combining the deep-dive and Q&A formats. I'm going to try this for a few weeks and then ask for your opinions. Today's episode is all about C-PTSD or complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

See full show notes at

If you have a question that you'd like me to answer on the show, send it over to


Oct 4, 2018

In this episode, I do a deep dive talking about a requested topic: dementia. It can be hard to find good information and advice about dementia online, so I hope that this episode can serve that function.

I go in-depth and cover the following:

  • Dementia terminology
  • What kinds of dementia there are
  • How to get a diagnosis
  • Managing difficult behaviors
  • Support available for caregivers

If you have a suggestion for a future deep dive topic or have a question that you'd like me to answer, send it to

Sep 27, 2018

Back to the Q&A this week. Before I answer the questions, I talk about a recent psychiatric hospitalization that I had to do with the hope of helping you understand that it's not a purely black and white situation.

Here are the questions I cover:

  • How can I make friends when my depression gets in the way?
  • Should I be avoiding stress rather than exposing myself?
  • What advice do you have for a future therapist?

As always, you can send your questions for the show in to

Sep 20, 2018

Hello! I thought it would be nice to have my wife, Joelle, back on the podcast today. She's usually a listener favorite guest and I always love talking with her, so I hope you enjoy our conversation!

We talk about all kinds of stuff including:

  • Our life and recent move
  • Changing psychiatric meds
  • Parenting with anxiety
  • How I keep work at work

As always, you can send me questions for a future episode to 

Sep 13, 2018

Another round of awesome questions from you, the listeners. Here's what we cover this week:

  • What can I do about the exhaustion that comes from fighting anxiety?
  • How can I deal with my explosive anger?
  • How can I mend the relationship with my step-daughter?

As always, you can send me your questions to

Sep 7, 2018

Hello, friends! Sorry for anyone that missed last week's episode. I messed up a little with the technical side of things. We should be all back track this week. If you don't already, please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or whatever podcast player you use, so you never miss out. 

Here are the questions for this week:

  • How can I get help when I can't afford therapy and I don't have insurance?
  • What can I do when my emergency anxiety medication doesn't work?
  • I feel pressured to have kids. What should I do about it?

As always you can send me your questions to

Aug 30, 2018

Three totally different questions today ranging from relatively basic to quite intense. I hope you enjoy. Did a little something different with the format of this, please feel free to send me feedback about it.

Here are the questions:

  • As a transgender male, how can I cope with my dysphoria while having sex with my partner?
  • Should I increase my dose of Klonopin or change medications for my anxiety?
  • I feel like I don't have any reason to live. What else can I do?

As mentioned in the podcast, check out for my audiobooks!

If you have a question for a future episode, send it over to

Aug 23, 2018

Hello! Fantastic questions on today's Q&A episode. I am always amazed by your honesty and vulnerability when sending these in. Here's what we cover today:

  • Could porn be causing my depression and lack of pleasure in life?
  • How can I deal with my constant panic attacks?
  • Should I talk to my therapist about new fleeting thoughts of suicide?

As always, you can send me your questions for an upcoming episode to

Aug 16, 2018

Another full question and answer episode this week. Awesome questions, as always. I wanted to quickly say thank you for everyone who enrolled in the course. It was a very successful launch and I'm so happy that my hard work over the past year has paid off. THANK YOU!

Here are the questions covered this week:

  • How am I supposed to show my partner love when I have borderline personality disorder?
  • How can I best support my suicidal friends?
  • How can I stop procrastinating and stick to habits with anxiety?

As always, please keep sending me your questions to

Aug 9, 2018

Back at it! This episode is a full three question episode for you. Thanks for your patience over the past few weeks with the short episodes. That helped me out a lot.

On a related note, the course is out! In fact, by the time the next episode drops, you will no longer be able to buy the course!! Get on it

Here are the questions answered in this episode:

  • How do I get over my anxiety about death?
  • What can I do about my crippling regret?
  • I feel attached to my therapist. Is that bad?

If you have a question for a future episode, please send it to


Aug 2, 2018

It's time! Kick Anxiety's Ass is now live! You can get instant access to all 10 modules of awesome anxiety slaying content at If you purchase before Monday, 8/6 and use the coupon code PODCAST, you will get $100 off. You can check out a bunch of free lessons from the course before you decide. I think you are going to get a lot out of it.

In this episode, I answer one listener question about what to do when you are uncomfortable with your therapist walking behind you to their office at the start of session.

We should be back to regularly scheduled programming next week. Until then, keep sending me your questions to

Jul 26, 2018

Hello, friends! Another mini episode this week as I gear up for the launch of Kick Anxiety's Ass, which is next week OMG fjkdlasnfkljd! 

This week I am taking a question about what to do when dealing with a toxic mother that lives in the same city. A tough one, but a really important topic.

Next week will be one more short episode and then we will be back to regularly scheduled programming.

Keep your awesome questions coming! Send them to


Jul 19, 2018

Hello, all! This is another mini-episode with just one question, but boy is it a good one. If you didn't catch the last episode, I am doing a series of short episodes while I crank out the finishing touches on my online course, Kick Anxiety's Ass

In this episode, I take a question about parenting with borderline personality disorder. Full show notes can be found at


If you want to send me a question for a future episode, please send it to


Jul 12, 2018

Hello, friends!

For the next few episodes, I will be just taking one question, so that I can free up some of my time to put the finishing touches on the Kick Anxiety's Ass Course.

For this week, the question is: Would online therapy be a good option for me, since I'm too depressed to do regular in-person therapy?

If you have a question for me, be sure to send it to 

Jul 5, 2018

Hello, friends! Super excited to bring my wife, Joelle, back on the podcast today. As usual, this is a super candid and honest conversation naturally flows into a variety of topics, but we broadly focused on issues related to communication and supporting one another in a relationship where one partner has significant mental health challenges. We bring our own personal experience into it and keep it super real. I hope you enjoy it. 

Just a reminder: You have until 7/9/18 to enter the Kick Anxiety's Ass giveaway. Good luck! 

Jun 28, 2018

This episode is a little different. It's basically a deep-dive episode, but it's a little more off-the-cuff than usual. Given the multitude of troubling events in the US news today, I wanted to give some thoughts and advice about dealing with the news and the state of the world. It can be exceptionally hard for someone with mental health issues to know what to do when the state of the world becomes overwhelming. I hope the thoughts that I present here help.

Here are a few tips:

1. Realize that no matter WHEN you hear about news or how much you worry about the event... those have absolutely no bearing on the fact that the event happened. In other words, the events are happening whether or not you already know about them. 

2. Regulate your flow of information. Consider waiting to "plug in" to the world until you've gotten ready for the day and consider unplugging for at least an hour before you go to sleep. 

3. Fight back against the false sense of immediacy that anxiety gives you.

4. Remember that you are allowed to feel, but not taking care of yourself may limit your ability to help or make a difference.

5. Taking good care of yourself allows you to funnel energy into action, which can make you feel less helpless. 

Quick update: HUGE giveaway going on right now at



Jun 21, 2018

Why hello there! This is a regular question and answer episode. Couple updates first: 

1. The audiobook for Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety has been updated and is WAY better. Check it out here:

2. There are three free lessons from my course that you can check out without any signups required at

Here are the questions covered in this episode:

  • What can I do about my intense anxiety and stomach pain when I have to go to school?
  • How can I go about telling my new romantic partner about my mental health issues?
  • When is the right time to stop therapy?

As always you can send me questions to

Jun 14, 2018

Hello, friends!

This is a straightforward question and answer episode. First a couple updates:

I changed the free preview content that is available on Now you can get three free lessons that cover defining anxiety, breathing strategies, and thinking traps. Good stuff.

The audiobook for F**k Anxiety will also be new and improved probably near the end of next week. I'll update again when the changes are processed.

Here are this week's questions:

  • My husband and I want to explore polyamory, but how can I get over my anxiety about him liking someone else more than me?
  • How can I get my family to stop abandoning me due to my bipolar?
  • What can I do now that my disability prevents me from doing the things that I used to love?

As always you can send me your questions to

Jun 7, 2018

In this episode, I do something a little different. This is a highly requested deep dive episode into the topic of ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response. You know, those videos where people tap things and whisper on youtube? I used to make those videos. For almost 6 years, in fact. 

I talk about what ASMR is and give examples from different videos. At the end, I even give you a bonus ASMR audio sample recorded by yours truly. Enjoy! 

Here are the videos that I used samples from: ASMR 1H OF TAPPING NO TALKING! more than 1 hour! by Chiara ASMR ASMR 1 Hour Tapping | No Talking by ASMR Glow ASMR Purely Close Up Whispers | Ear to Ear by
LauraLemurex ASMR ASMR Dmitri Talks about a Dream - Soft Spoken Voice by Massage ASMR Cranial Nerve Test with Pat LaFontaine & Dr. James Kelly by brainline Asheville Mall Manicure Nail Buff, Great Gift by Ask Asheville OLD ~ Cranial Nerve Examination Roleplay by Cutebunny992

Binaural Dual Trigger Sounds ASMR by me [ASMR] Hearing Test Nurse (Soft Spoken) by GIBI ASMR

May 31, 2018

Hey, friends. This was a really good episode thanks to the awesome questions that I was sent in. In fact, I think this episode would be a really great one to share with your friends if you wanted to give them an example of my podcast ;).

Here are the questions that are covered in this episode:

  • Are repressed memories real and what should you do about them?
  • How do I know that I've fully processed recent losses in my family?
  • How can I get help when I'm 15, depressed, and embarrassed?

As always you can send me your questions to

And be sure to check out my new online anxiety course at


May 24, 2018

This episode is kind of a hybrid. It's not quite an interview. More of a collaborative question and answer session. I sat down with my friend Skye Stifel, a school psychologist that I went to grad school with, to answer your questions about kids and adolescents. Good stuff!

Please head over to to learn more about my 10-week intensive anxiety bootcamp! 

As always, please send me your questions for future episodes to


May 17, 2018

Hello, friends!! Today's episode is a question and answer session. I think it turned out pretty well despite some annoying flooding that happened in my office this week, which I talk about in the episode. 

Hey, if you are interested in taking your anxiety from a 9 to a 3 and taking back control of your life, be sure to follow me on twitter at and on facebook at because I will VERY soon be opening up pre-orders for my 10-week online course, Kick Anxiety's Ass. Stay tuned.

Here are the questions covered in this episode:

  • What can I do about my step-mother who does not support me being in therapy?
  • How can I make friends in college?
  • How can I build a thicker skin in the face of rejection?

If you have questions for a future episode, please send them on over to 

May 10, 2018

Hi, friends! Thanks for tuning in again. As always, I really appreciate your support and participation in this podcast. In this episode, I am interviewing Quinn Gee. She is a therapist, business owner, and all around badass. We talk about how she got into therapy, her own identity development, what it's like being a therapist, and some concepts related to black mental health. It was a great talk. 

Next week should be a regular question and answer episode, so send your questions to

Be sure to show Quinn some love at:


May 3, 2018

In this episode, I talk about options for depression that just does not seem subside despite your best efforts. If you have tried therapy, medication, and all of the other things that we are supposed to do to tackle depression, but you still can't put a dent in it, you may have "treatment resistant depression". It can be extremely frustrating to fall into this category, but I want to reassure you that there is still hope. In this podcast, I talk about different options and techniques that can be used to move past resistant depression.

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