The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at
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The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych






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Now displaying: Category: Self-Help
Oct 29, 2020

I just had a birthday and I decided to do something a bit silly. In this episode, I am running down 32 things I've done in my 32 years on this earth. It's not all bragging! You'll learn a few interesting things about me and my experience. I greatly appreciate you. Thank you for being there for another trip around the sun.


Orgain - Awesome protein/nutritional shakes and other nutritional products. Head to

BetterHelp - Online counseling made easy. Head to

Oct 15, 2020

Hello, friends! Today I have a looser episode structure for you. Simply me sitting and talking to you about a few things that are working for me right now. They are super random, but all represent things in my life that are helping me get through. In no particular order they are...

  • White boards
  • Boundaries
  • Waking up early
  • Coldbrew
  • Verbal journaling
  • Exercising
  • Audiobooks
  • Having grace with myself
  • Timing activities
  • PBAP

See. Told you they were pretty random. I think you'll find some helpful tips in here though. Let me know what you think! 

If you have a question that you'd like answered or a topic for a future show, shoot me an email to

Oct 1, 2020

Hello, friends! Bit of a short episode today, but great questions nonetheless! I also mention that I've been putting out more great content on Youtube and for my mailing list. Make sure you check those out as well if you can't get enough great mental health info! 

Here are the questions covered in this episode:

  • Does hypnotherapy work?
  • What can I do about my family issues during the holidays?

As always you can send me your questions and topic suggestions to 

This episode is sponsored by Himalaya ashwagandha. Use the code SELFHELP20 at checkout on Amazon to get a hefty discount! 

Sep 17, 2020

Hey, all!

In this episode, I answer some awesome listener questions after rambling at your in a semi-lucid loopy tired state for a while. Here are the questions covered this episode:

  • What concrete work can people do to move on from trauma?
  • What can you do when your therapist prices you out?

As always, you can send me your questions for the show to

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Go to for 10% off your first month of professional online therapy.

Sep 10, 2020

Hello, friends!

Just a nice Q&A episode for you this week. Thank you all so much for the outpouring of support and care after the last episode. Things are definitely improving around here. Expect an update on our life soon! For today, here are the questions covered:

  • I have been struggling between therapy sessions, but don't want to bother my therapist about it. What can I do?
  • Should I go to therapy since I don't want to have kids following the death of my mother?

As always, you can send me your questions to and if you'd like to learn more about all that I do, check out

This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Check them out for sustainable organic groceries delivered straight to your door! Go to for a special gift along with your trial membership!

Aug 27, 2020

This is an interesting episode. I honestly don't know if I'll keep it posted forever. It has been an exhausting and scary week. So I turned on the mic and just got real with you. My wife is struggling with her mental health and we have had to navigate the options for more intensive treatment, which has been extremely frustrating. I talk about inpatient hospitalization, residential programs, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, and more. Basically, I ramble about what we are going through as a family for almost an hour. It's raw and it's real. I hope it helps you feel less alone. 

Aug 20, 2020

Hello, friends! I hope that where ever you are, you are not absolutely melting from heat like I am. Even if you are, go chill in the air conditioning and settle in because this episode's a long one. 

In this episode, I share the audio from THREE whole lessons of my online course, Kick Anxiety's Ass. These lessons talk all about structural changes to your life that you can make and habits that you can build to further support your anxiety conquest.

Since each lesson is over 20 minutes, this episode clocks in at well over an hour.

If you love what you hear, please check out the online course that it came from at

This episode is brought to you by Better Help. Visit for 10% off your first month of online professional counseling.

Aug 13, 2020

Hello, all! Thanks for having some patience with the lack of an episode last week. I think it was worth it because this is a packed episode. In this week's episode, I dive deep into my favorite tips and techniques to make you a better communicator and a better listener. In the field, we call these "active listening" techniques and they are the fundamental techniques that all therapists learn to help people open up and trust them.

Here are the tips covered:

  • You have more than one shot.
  • Pay attention to emotional state.
  • Listen before speaking.
  • Nonverbal behaviors.
  • Open-ended questions.
  • Restatements.
  • Reflections.
  • Silence.

I think you'll get a lot out of this episode! 

Please continue sending me your questions and episode ideas to

This week's sponsor is Raycon. Check out their awesome wireless earbuds at

Jul 31, 2020

Hello, friends! I hope that you're staying healthy and relatively happy out there. In this episode, I've got the following awesome questions for you:

  • My fiance and I are stuck on different continents due to COVID. What can I do to deal with my sadness?
  • I get rushes of adrenaline and panic attacks when moving around in bed at night. Why and what can I do?

Don't forget that you can still get the entire Kick Anxiety's Ass course for just $75 instead of $300. Head over and check out some free lessons!

This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Go to to get a free gift with your risk-free membership.

Jul 23, 2020

Hello, friends! This episode is a question and answer show with a couple really great ones:

  • How can I remember what brought be joy before depression?
  • Should I stay away from me ex who was abusive to me?

As always, please send in your questions for the show to

This episode is brought to you by Raycon. I'm loving their new Everyday E25 earbuds. Check out for 15% off your order.

Jul 16, 2020

Hello, friends!

This is a nice little Q&A episode featuring the following two questions:

  • What can I do about my severe anxiety reaction when wearing a mask?
  • Should I be taking psychiatric medication for my symptoms?

No sponsor this week, but don't forget that my comprehensive anxiety course is still available until this pandemic is done. 

If you have questions or topic suggestions, send them over to

Jul 10, 2020

Hello, everyone! I think you will really enjoy this episode. I sat out in the back yard with some candles, twinkle lights, and a couple glasses of wine with my lovely wife, Joelle and just talked. We really didn't have an agenda, so you are getting a normal raw convo between us.

We ended up talking about a variety of topics including Joelle's new embroidery hobby and my new gardening hobby. We also discuss our poly triad relationship, which didn't end up lasting, Joelle's own identity exploration, and why WE work as a couple. It was such as pleasure to sit down and share these snippets with you all. 

This episodes sponsor is Thrive Market. Check out for $20 shopping credit!

Jul 2, 2020

Hello, friends.

I asked on social media whether you'd prefer a Q&A or a guided meditation and the overwhelming answer was a guided meditation. I get it. We are STILL in uncertain and difficult times. I know that I'm dealing with my fair share of haywire thoughts. So, the purpose of this meditation is to help you get on a little better terms with your thoughts using the visualization of a snowglobe. Enjoy!

Please continue sending me your awesome questions and content suggestions to!

Jun 25, 2020

Hello, all!

This episode features a re-release of one of my favorite episodes of all time. I go through 10 of the most common thinking traps. Also called cognitive distortions, thinking traps are patterns of unhelpful thinking that we all fall into at times. For those with mental health issues, they can become quite common. If you are interested in getting the free eBook based on this, head over to 

Next week will most likely be another Q&A, so keep sending me your awesome questions to

Jun 11, 2020

Hello, friends. I have a Q&A for you today. Please enjoy and stay well. Here are the questions covered:

  • How can I help my (teen) friend at school who seems to have depression?
  • I am questioning my gender identity. What should I do?

As always, you can send me questions to

Today's episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Check out to get up to $20 in shopping credit toward your first order. 

May 28, 2020

Hello, friends! This is a re-release of episode 74, in which I dive deep into 10 tips that you can use to get the most out of therapy. This is great advice whether you are a therapy newbie, a seasoned veteran, or still thinking about whether therapy is for you. Here are the tips I cover:

  1. You don’t need to impress your therapist
  2. Don’t lie to your therapist
  3. Don’t be afraid to get emotional and let it out
  4. Challenge your therapist and correct them
  5. If it’s not working, say something
  6. Find someone you are comfortable with
  7. Get therapy sooner
  8. Take notes and journal
  9. Do the homework and practice the skills
  10. Talk about the relationship between you and your therapist during session

As always, you can send me questions to and don't forget that the Kick Anxiety's Ass course remains open until the quarantine is over (it isn't).

May 22, 2020

Hello, friends! Quick reminder that easing of COVID-19 restrictions does not mean that the pandemic is over. For the sake of at-risk people like me, please continue being smart. 

That said, this episode is a 2-question Q&A covering the following:

  • I feel like I'm getting less out of video therapy. What can I do?
  • I have massive anxiety speaking my 2nd language about certain people. How can I become less anxious?

As always, you can send me questions, topics, or feedback to

May 14, 2020

Hello, friends! This is a nice and easy two-question Q&A episode. I hope you're all taking great care of yourselves and staying healthy. I'll be back next week with another episode! Here are the questions covered this week:

  • I am required to work in the office during COVID and I'm having a hard time. What can I do?
  • I'm anxious about having to do group therapy. Should I avoid it?

As always, you can send me questions to If you haven't yet, make sure to check out my comprehensive online course at

This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Go to to learn more.

May 1, 2020

Hello, friends! This episode features an interview that I did with clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay Weisner. We talk about many things during the interview, but Dr. Weisner's main goal is to destigmatize the conversation surrounding teen suicidality. Listen to learn more about why and how.

This episode is brought to you by Gravity Blankets. Head over to and use the promo code "DUFF" to get 20% off your first weighted blanket order!

Check out the full show notes, including all of Dr. Weisner's links at

Apr 23, 2020

This is another episode in which I turned on the mic and sort of just rambled. I talk about life during quarantine, I talk about my new poly relationship, I talk about how my house is now stuffed to the gills with people and animals, and I talk about how we are all collectively having a hard time focusing. This is a low-key direct from my heart to your ears type of episode. If it bores you to sleep... you're welcome for the sleep!

This episode was sponsored by the Savvy Psychologist podcast. If you are looking for short digestible bites of mental health and psychology information, give them a try!

Apr 9, 2020

In this episode, we are continuing the trend of focusing on content related to the COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine. However, this week, we are getting back to the normal Q&A format. Here are the questions that are covered:

  • What do I do about being stuck with my abusive mother during quarantine?
  • I'm enjoying quarantine. What can I do about my dread of going back to normal?
  • How can I deal with missing physical touch during quarantine?

As always you can send me questions for the show to

This episode is sponsored by Lionrock Recovery. Check out for more info about their confidential online treatment programs for substance use.

Don't forget the Kick Anxiety's Ass course will remain open until the end of quarantine before I close new enrollments.

Apr 2, 2020

This is a much shorter episode than usual. I just wanted to stop in to give you some words of encouragement and just a little bit of advice. You are allowed to be human and we will all get through this together. 

As a reminder, the Kick Anxiety's Ass course enrollments are extended until the quarantine period is finished. Now is the time to invest in your mental health at a hugely discounted rate. Learn more at

Mar 26, 2020

Why hello, everyone. I hope you're quarantine is slightly less maddening than mine... I will likely be putting out episodes that are directly or indirectly related to our collective experience of the covid-19 pandemic for a while.

Today's episode is an entire module from my online course, Kick Anxiety's Ass, which is have extended enrollments in until this pandemic has chilled the heck out. This is module 8: The World Is Crazy. 

There are three lessons covering ways to better manage the flow of information from news and social media. There is so much information and so many updates right now that it's easy to fall into a pattern of compulsively checking your phone. I hope this helps <3

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. They are a great option for finding support while you are stuck in your home. 

Mar 18, 2020

Hello, friends! Well. Things have changed drastically since the last podcast episode. I was thinking about doing something special for episode 200, but since all of our lives have been consumed by this pandemic and the quarantine efforts, I thought it would be most helpful to do something related to that.

In this episode, I give you a few of my thoughts about how to best get through this time and then guide you through some visualization and breathing to help you let go and get some much needed rest. I truly hope that it helps a bit. 

Mar 12, 2020

Well well well... I definitely did not plan to release this podcast on the week that we find out the world is rapidly approaching a global pandemic, but here we are. In this episode, I speak to guest, Dr. Gordon Asmundson, a psychologist, professor, and author, all about health anxiety. Just as a heads up, we do not talk specifically about COVID-19 or any other Corona viruses in this episode. Rather, this is a subject that many have requested. I will likely speak more about COVID-19 and more about health anxiety in general in a future episode. 

Check out Dr. Asmundson's book, It's Not All in Your Head on Amazon!

And don't forget that you have just days left to hop on the massive Kick Anxiety's Ass course discount before enrollments close entirely. 

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