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The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at http://hardcoreselfhelp.com
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Jan 24, 2025

In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing.

Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs.

We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbreaking resource for those suffering from this deeply ingrained struggle.

If you’ve ever wrestled with feelings of unworthiness or struggled to overcome negative beliefs about yourself, this episode is packed with strategies, hope, and actionable advice to help you move toward a healthier relationship with yourself.


Chapters:

00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Blaise Aguirre
02:00 — From Philosophy to Psychiatry: Dr. Aguirre’s Career Path
07:30 — Understanding Self-Hatred: How It Develops and Why It Persists
15:00 — The Role of Validation in Parenting and Mental Health
20:45 — The DBT Approach: Why Skills-Based Therapy Works for BPD and Self-Hatred
27:00 — Breaking Down Self-Hatred: Separating It from the Self
34:20 — Overcoming Self-Hatred: Practical Tools and Steps for Healing
40:15 — The Importance of Compassionate Treatment in Mental Health Care
45:00 — A Sneak Peek Into I Hate Myself
50:20 — What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know
57:00 — Dr. Aguirre’s Final Thoughts on Healing and Hope


About the Podcast

I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all designed to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.


Guest Links:


Connect With Me:


Sponsored By:

This episode is brought to you by NoCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If intrusive thoughts and compulsions are impacting your daily life, NoCD offers specialized Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more at www.nocd.com.


Hope you find this conversation as inspiring and thought-provoking as I did! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and takeaways in the comments.


Tags:

#MentalHealth #SelfHatred #BlaiseAguirre #DBT #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SelfCompassion #TraumaHealing #Parenting #Mindfulness #SelfHelp

Jan 17, 2025

In this special episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I lead you through a guided meditation designed to help you let go of mental burdens and find focus in an overwhelming world. Using visualization techniques and intentional breathing exercises, this meditation offers a space to acknowledge your stressors, release tension, and tap into a feeling of calm and clarity.

This experience is set in a vivid mindscape of space, where you can imagine yourself aboard a futuristic spacecraft, surrounded by the beauty of the cosmos. Together, we’ll navigate through moments of recognition, release, and rejuvenation. By the end of this session, you’ll feel more centered and grounded, with a renewed connection to how you’d like to move forward.

Whether you’re a seasoned meditator or new to mindfulness, this episode is a judgment-free zone to focus on yourself. Bookmark it to return to anytime you need a mental reset.


Sponsor
This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you’re stuck in cycles of overthinking, compulsive behaviors, or intrusive thoughts, NOCD offers specialized treatment using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—a gold-standard therapy for OCD.

They provide virtual sessions with licensed therapists, accept many major insurance plans, and offer support between sessions to make treatment as accessible as possible.

Visit https://www.nocd.com to schedule a free 15-minute consultation and take the first step toward relief. For more insights on OCD and ERP, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath in episode 406 of this podcast.


Chapters:

  • 00:15 — Introduction: Why This Meditation Matters
  • 03:00 — Sponsor: NOCD – Treatment for OCD Symptoms
  • 04:30 — Setting the Scene: Guided Visualization in Space
  • 08:00 — Acknowledging and Offloading Mental Burdens
  • 13:00 — Breathing for Release: Techniques to Let Go
  • 17:00 — Choosing Your Focus and Setting Your Intention
  • 19:30 — Relaxation Breathing and Body Scan
  • 25:00 — Final Reflections and Letting the Experience Settle

About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to make mental health topics relatable and actionable. Whether through guided meditations like this one, Q&A sessions, or expert interviews, I aim to help you navigate life’s challenges with clarity and confidence.


Connect With Me:


Hashtags:
#GuidedMeditation #Mindfulness #MentalHealth #Relaxation #StressRelief #SelfHelp

Jan 10, 2025

In this inspiring episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jordan Grumet, a hospice director, author, and podcast host, to explore how we can transform our lives by embracing the concept of “little p purpose.” Dr. Grumet shares insights from his latest book, The Purpose Code, which offers actionable strategies to uncover and build a meaningful life, regardless of your circumstances.

Our conversation dives deep into the difference between “big P Purpose” (society’s lofty, often unattainable ideals) and “little p purpose” (daily actions that bring joy and meaning). Dr. Grumet shares his personal journey—from losing his father at a young age to becoming a physician driven by unresolved trauma, to ultimately finding fulfillment by pursuing his passions for writing, speaking, and connecting with others.

Key takeaways from our discussion include practical ways to recognize your purpose anchors, how to turn regrets into motivations, and why pursuing joy in small, intentional ways can lead to profound impact and lasting legacy. We also explore how Dr. Grumet’s work in hospice has shaped his understanding of what truly matters in life, highlighting lessons from those at the end of their journeys.

This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone feeling stuck, searching for meaning, or simply looking to live with more intentionality and joy.


Sponsor
This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you're caught in an endless loop of “what-ifs” or struggling with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, NOCD offers specialized, evidence-based therapy designed just for OCD—Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). They accept many major insurance plans, making it accessible and affordable, with support available between therapy sessions.

Take the first step by visiting https://www.nocd.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Plus, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath, NOCD’s Chief Clinical Officer, on episode 406 of this podcast to learn more about OCD and their approach.


Chapters:

  • 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Jordan Grumet
  • 02:00 — Finding Purpose After Loss: Dr. Grumet’s Early Life
  • 06:15 — Purpose Anchors: Joyful Work vs. Goal-Oriented Burnout
  • 10:45 — Lessons from the Hospice Life Review
  • 16:30 — Regrets of the Dying: Turning Regret into Action
  • 20:00 — Building Purpose When You Feel Stuck
  • 24:15 — Tools and Levers: Joy of Addition and Art of Subtraction
  • 30:00 — The Difference Between Meaning and Purpose
  • 37:00 — How Small Joys Create Big Impact and Legacy
  • 44:15 — Practical Steps to Start Building a Purposeful Life
  • 50:30 — Final Takeaways: Finding Your Purpose Anchors

About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and strategies for living authentically and fulfilling your potential.


Guest Links


Connect With Me:



#MentalHealth #Purpose #PersonalDevelopment #Legacy #SelfHelp #Mindfulness

Dec 20, 2024

In today’s year-end wrap-up episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast (Episode 425), I reflect on 2024 and reveal my guiding word for 2025. Instead of traditional New Year’s resolutions, I choose a single word each year to serve as a focal point and inspiration. I revisit last year’s word—Connection—and discuss what worked well, like strengthening family bonds and growing professionally through clinical supervision and podcast interviews, as well as what didn’t go as planned (like making new friends or achieving full Spanish fluency). These reflections highlight how intentions can guide growth in unexpected ways.

Looking ahead to 2025, my new word is Mend. From addressing health issues to repairing lingering logistical and financial tasks, I want to focus on making what I already have stronger and more sustainable, rather than building from scratch. This year’s theme is about restoring, improving, and taking care of what’s important in my personal life, home, and professional endeavors—including the podcast and Duff the Psych projects.

Join me as I wrap up 2024, share my aspirations for 2025, and encourage you to reflect on your own values, accomplishments, and future direction. Thank you for another year of support and attention. I’ll see you in 2025!


Chapters:

00:00 — Reflecting on Another Year: Gratitude & Long-Term Listeners
01:00 — Beyond Resolutions: Choosing a Guiding Word Each Year
03:00 — Reviewing 2024’s Word “Connection”: Wins, Misses & Insights
05:00 — Personal Highlights: Family Bonding, Board Games & Quality Time
09:00 — Professional Growth: Clinical Supervision, Networking & Interviews
11:00 — Language Ambitions: Progress in Spanish, But Not Fluent Yet
13:00 — Introducing 2025’s Word: “Mend”
14:00 — Repairing & Improving: Health, Home Projects & Finances
16:00 — Podcast & Brand Updates: Refining Instead of Expanding
18:00 — Final Thoughts: Entering 2025 with Intention & Flexibility


About the Podcast

I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist aiming to make mental health more accessible. On the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I break down complex psychological concepts, share actionable tips, and provide relatable advice to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Whether through solo episodes, interviews, or listener Q&A, my goal is to support your mental well-being without unnecessary jargon.

Connect With Me:


#MentalHealth #SelfHelp #PersonalDevelopment #Mindfulness #NewYear #Goals #Intention #Reflection #Podcast

Dec 14, 2024

In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast (Episode 424), I tackle two listener questions that address challenging mental health scenarios. The first question delves into the concept of antidepressant-associated chronic irritable dysphoria (ACID), a proposed condition rather than a formally recognized diagnosis, and the potential long-term effects of antidepressants in the context of bipolar disorder. I break down the limited research behind ACID, emphasize the importance of comprehensive care, and acknowledge the frustration that can arise when medications seem to worsen symptoms instead of helping.

The second question focuses on waking up early with irritability and racing thoughts. I provide practical strategies like pre-bed journaling to offload worries, identifying actionable steps for lingering concerns, and creating a calming buffer before sleep. I also discuss the importance of reexamining one’s work environment, considering meaningful changes, and finding fulfillment outside of a stressful job. Throughout the episode, I offer insights on self-advocacy, exploring alternative treatments, and laying the groundwork to regain a sense of control in your daily life.


Chapters:

00:15 — Introduction: Needing More Questions & Holiday Scheduling
02:00 — ACID Explained: A Proposed Condition, Not a Formal Diagnosis
08:00 — Bipolar Disorder & Antidepressants: Complex Interactions and Research Gaps
11:00 — Frustration with Care: Inadequate Guidance and Long-Term Medication Issues
14:00 — Exploring Alternatives: Therapy, Lifestyle Changes, and Treatments Like TMS/Ketamine
21:00 — Morning Irritability: Unpacking Workplace Stress & Uncontrollable Factors
24:00 — Reevaluating Work: Finding Meaning Outside Employment and Considering Changes
27:00 — Pre-Bed Journaling: Offloading Worries, Identifying Action Steps, and Creating Buffers
30:00 — Final Thoughts: Gratitude, Year-End Plans, and Continuing the Journey


About the Podcast

I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. I’m here to demystify mental health, break down psychological concepts, and provide actionable advice without unnecessary jargon. Through expert interviews, listener Q&A, and relatable discussions, this podcast aims to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.

Connect With Me:


#MentalHealth #Antidepressants #Bipolar #WorkStress #Journaling #SleepHygiene #QandA #SelfHelp #Psychology

Dec 6, 2024

In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with psychologist, professional speaker, and author Dr. Matt Zakreski to explore the concept of neurodiversity and how to create a more supportive world for neurodivergent individuals. Drawing from both personal and professional experiences, Dr. Matt shares his journey as someone who is gifted and ADHD, and how that shaped his understanding and advocacy for neurodivergent folks.

We discuss what neurodiversity truly means, highlight differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent brains, and break down why it’s crucial to avoid framing neurodivergent individuals as “failed neurotypicals.” Dr. Matt provides practical strategies for understanding executive functioning challenges, improving communication, and fostering more inclusive environments both in schools and in everyday life. Whether you’re neurodivergent yourself, raising a neurodivergent child, or simply looking to become a better ally, this episode is packed with insights and guidance to help you understand, accept, and celebrate neurological differences.


Chapters:

00:15 — Introduction: Send in Your Questions & Introducing Dr. Matt Zakreski
02:00 — Defining Neurodiversity and Neurodivergence
08:00 — The Performance Cliff: When School Outpaces Natural Ability
11:00 — Common Threads: Executive Functioning and Pragmatic Language in Neurodivergence
17:00 — Brain-Based Differences: Sensory Input, Basal Ganglia, and Emotional Intensity
21:00 — Universal Design in Education: Creating Systems That Work for All
24:00 — Shame, Emotionality, and the Reality of ADHD
28:00 — Inattentive vs. Hyperactive: Recognizing Subtle Signs and Misdiagnoses
33:00 — Rethinking Assessment: Moving Beyond DSM Checklists
38:00 — Why Specialists and Relationships Matter in Mental Health Care
41:00 — Making Therapy Work for Kids: Meeting Them Where They Are
43:00 — The Neurodiversity Playbook: Tools, Strategies, and Action Points
48:00 — Intention vs. Impact: Communicating Clearly and Compassionately
52:00 — Practical Tips for Executive Functioning in Daily Life
54:00 — Final Takeaways: Building Community and Embracing Your Unique Brain


About the Podcast

I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into approachable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and practical strategies for thriving. Whether through expert interviews, audience Q&A, or practical tips, this show is all about making meaningful changes without unnecessary jargon or fluff.


Guest Links:


Connect With Me:


#Neurodiversity #ADHD #Gifted #TwiceExceptional #Autism #ExecutiveFunction #InclusiveEducation #MentalHealth #SelfHelp #PersonalDevelopment

Nov 22, 2024

In today's episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author Charles Duhigg to explore the science of effective communication and its profound impact on our personal and professional lives. Charles shares insights from his latest book, Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, delving into how skills like empathy, active listening, and understanding different types of conversations can transform the way we connect with others.

Our conversation uncovers the neurological underpinnings of communication, including the concept of neural entrainment and the matching principle. We discuss practical strategies for improving communication in various contexts—from personal relationships to the workplace—and address common pitfalls people face, such as social anxiety and miscommunication. Whether you're looking to enhance your relationships, become a better listener, or navigate tough conversations with ease, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you on your journey.


Chapters:

00:15 — Introduction: Meet Charles Duhigg

03:00 — From Business to Journalism: Charles's Unconventional Path

08:00 — The Power of Storytelling in Communication

11:45 — Understanding the Science Behind Effective Communication

14:00 — The Three Types of Conversations: Practical, Emotional, Social

17:00 — The Matching Principle: Aligning Conversations for Connection

21:00 — Diagnosing and Matching Conversation Types

24:00 — Looping for Understanding: A Technique for Better Listening

28:00 — Common Communication Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

31:00 — Empathy Without Mimicry: Connecting Without Oversharing

34:00 — Real-World Examples: Doctors, Therapists, and Effective Communication

38:00 — Advice for Introverts and Those with Social Anxiety

44:00 — The Power of Asking Questions in Social Settings

47:00 — Overview of 'Supercommunicators' and Its Practical Applications

51:00 — Navigating Tough Conversations: Tips and Strategies

54:00 — A Challenge for Listeners: Reconnecting with Someone

57:30 — Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Charles's Work

Hope you find this enlightening conversation as engaging as I did! Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.


About the Podcast

I'm Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode is a mix of expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.

Guest Links:


Connect With Me:


#MentalHealth #EffectiveCommunication #CharlesDuhigg #SelfHelp #Supercommunicators #PersonalDevelopment #ListeningSkills #SocialAnxiety

Nov 15, 2024

In this Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I address two insightful listener questions. The first explores coping with the end of a therapeutic relationship, while the second delves into the physical manifestations of depression and strategies to manage them. This episode offers practical advice and empathetic understanding for those navigating these challenges.

Chapters:

00:15Introduction: Returning to Q&A
After a series of interviews, I return to answering your questions. Learn how to submit your own and connect with the podcast.

02:05Coping with the End of Therapy
A listener shares the grief experienced after concluding therapy with a transformative therapist. I discuss why these feelings are normal, the concept of transference, and practical ways to navigate the loss of such a significant relationship.

12:15Understanding the Physical Symptoms of Depression
Addressing a listener's concern about the often-overlooked physical manifestations of depression, including fatigue, dissociation, and the role of self-injury as a coping mechanism. I explore what these symptoms can look like, why they occur, and practical tools to help reconnect with the body and manage the emotional weight.

24:00Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Reflecting on the courage it takes to share these challenges and offering guidance on taking small steps toward healing.

About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode combines expert insights, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.

Connect With Me:

Mentioned in This Episode:

  • Book: Skin Game: A Memoir by Caroline Kettlewell. This memoir provides a vivid account of living with and overcoming self-injury. Available on Amazon:

I hope you find this episode insightful and supportive. If you'd like to send me a question for a future episode, please email me at duffthepsych@gmail.com.

Nov 8, 2024

In today’s episode, I sit down with Dr. Manu Kapur, a professor of learning sciences, to delve into his unique approach to education: productive failure. Dr. Kapur explains how intentionally designing failure within the learning process can lead to deeper understanding and greater knowledge retention. We discuss the science behind productive failure and how it differs from traditional methods, which often focus on direct instruction followed by application. Dr. Kapur shares his experiences from childhood dreams of soccer to academic life at ETH Zurich, showing how personal failures have shaped his life and work.

Together, we explore key concepts like the “four A’s” of productive failure: Activation, Awareness, Affect, and Assembly. This method encourages learners to first explore problems in a safe space, where failure is expected, to prepare them for deeper learning through expert guidance afterward. Dr. Kapur’s insights reveal how frustration and negative emotions, when managed safely, can enhance memory and motivation, making failure a powerful tool in the learning process.

In this episode, Dr. Kapur provides real-world examples, from learning statistical concepts in the classroom to developing retrieval paths in social interactions. We also discuss how productive failure can be applied beyond the classroom to daily life and parenting, helping adults model and reinforce the benefits of persistence and exploration for children.


Chapters:

00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Manu Kapur and the Concept of Productive Failure
05:30 — The Science Behind Learning Through Failure
12:00 — The “Four A’s” of Productive Failure: Activation, Awareness, Affect, and Assembly
18:30 — Real-Life Examples: Productive Failure in the Classroom
24:00 — The Role of Emotions in Memory and Learning
30:05 — Applying Productive Failure in Daily Life
36:25 — Parenting and Productive Failure: Teaching Kids Resilience
41:50 — Productive Failure’s Global Applications and Cultural Reflections
47:05 — Key Takeaways and Where to Find More from Dr. Kapur


About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, and on this podcast, we dive deep into mental health and personal growth, bringing expert insights and practical advice to help you navigate life’s challenges. Join us for conversations that break down complex concepts into actionable steps.


Guest Links:


Connect With Me:

#ProductiveFailure #Learning #Education #GrowthMindset #MentalHealth

 

Oct 25, 2024

In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I’m thrilled to sit down with marketing guru and best-selling author Seth Godin. Seth shares his near-death experience off the coast of San Clemente—a moment that became a powerful reminder of his mission to teach and contribute. We explore his philosophy of “strategy as a philosophy of becoming” and discuss practical ways to craft personal life strategies that align with our values, whether in creativity, mental resilience, or personal growth.

In our conversation, Seth and I cover a range of ideas, from recognizing societal systems that impact our lives to overcoming societal pressures and finding meaning in service to others. Seth’s “lifeguard analogy” emphasizes the importance of focusing on helping others, and his insights are full of actionable takeaways for anyone looking to lead a more purpose-driven life.

Tune in for an episode packed with practical strategies and reflections that can help you shape a life you’re proud of.


Topics Covered:

  • Breaking Down Writer’s Block and Building Creative Confidence
  • The Lifeguard Analogy: Why Starting with Generosity Can Change Your Life
  • Recognizing the Systems That Influence Our Daily Lives
  • How Strategy and Mental Health Intersect in Our Modern World
  • Building Powerful Daily Creative Habits
  • Avoiding the Trap of Playing Games We’re Meant to Lose
  • Developing Authentic Networks and Finding Your Community

Timestamps:

00:15 — Introduction: Meet Seth Godin
02:05 — Breaking Down Writer’s Block and Building Creative Confidence
06:00 — Learning Through the Lifeguard Analogy: How to Start Contributing Now
12:15 — Recognizing the Systems Shaping Our Lives
18:30 — Personal Strategy and Mental Health: How They Intersect
24:00 — The Power of Daily Creative Habits
30:40 — Real-Life Applications: Who's It For, What's It For?
36:25 — Avoiding the Trap of Playing Games We’re Meant to Lose
41:50 — How Strategy Can Help Us Cope with Modern Mental Health Challenges
47:05 — Building Authentic Networks and Finding Community


About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist dedicated to breaking down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and practical strategies to help you thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, useful tips, and answers to listener questions, all to support your journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Guest Links:


Connect With Me:

Oct 18, 2024

In this episode, I sit down with Anna Runkle, better known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, to explore her journey of healing from childhood PTSD and the unique methods she has developed to help others do the same. Anna has helped hundreds of thousands of people worldwide re-regulate their nervous systems and recover from deep emotional wounds using simple but powerful techniques. We dive deep into what childhood PTSD really is, how it differs from complex PTSD, and what doctors often get wrong about trauma. Anna also shares her personal story of growing up in a chaotic commune, the lasting effects of emotional neglect and abandonment, and the practical steps she used to reclaim her life and happiness.

Whether you're personally affected by trauma or seeking to support someone who is, Anna’s wisdom, tools, and personal insights provide valuable takeaways for anyone on a healing journey.


Links:


Timestamps:

  • 0:00 – Introduction

    • Introduction to Anna Runkle, aka the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and her mission to help people heal from childhood PTSD.
    • Overview of the topics to be covered: childhood trauma, PTSD, healing methods, and Anna’s personal story.
  • 2:30 – Anna’s Early Life and Growing Up in a Commune

    • Anna describes her chaotic upbringing in a Berkeley commune, surrounded by addiction, neglect, and violence.
    • The impact of family addiction and how it shaped her view of the world.
  • 7:15 – Understanding Childhood PTSD vs. Complex PTSD

    • Anna explains the difference between childhood PTSD and complex PTSD, and why she uses a more accessible term for the general public.
    • How childhood trauma can stay latent and resurface in adulthood after new traumatic events.
  • 12:45 – Coping Mechanisms and the Breaking Point

    • Anna shares how being the "good girl" helped her survive but eventually led to deep depression.
    • Her experience of hitting rock bottom and the overwhelming effects of what she calls a "trauma storm."
  • 16:30 – The Effects of Gaslighting and Emotional Neglect

    • Anna discusses the emotional invalidation she faced growing up and the gaslighting that made her doubt her own reality.
    • The lasting impact of growing up in an environment of denial.
  • 21:00 – The Role of Attachment Wounds and Limerence

    • How unresolved emotional neglect led to dysfunctional relationships in Anna’s life, especially through a phenomenon called "limerence"—an obsessive, addictive form of love.
    • The cycle of seeking validation in unhealthy ways due to an insecure attachment style.
  • 27:30 – Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation

    • Anna explains the concept of nervous system dysregulation and how trauma impacts not only emotions but also physical health.
    • Her personal health struggles with autoimmune diseases and chronic fatigue, and how regulating her nervous system led to profound healing.
  • 33:00 – The Power of Simple Healing Techniques

    • Anna shares the simple yet powerful technique of writing down fears and resentments daily, a method she learned from a friend in AA.
    • How this practice gave her the emotional relief she had been seeking for years.
  • 38:45 – Generational Trauma and Breaking the Cycle

    • Anna reflects on the generational trauma in her family and the importance of breaking the cycle of emotional neglect and dysfunction.
    • How her own healing journey has allowed her to parent with more stability and emotional availability.
  • 43:00 – The Myth of ‘What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger’

    • Anna challenges the common belief that trauma automatically leads to growth, explaining that for many people, trauma can be devastating without proper support.
    • The dangers of spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity.
  • 48:15 – Finding True Healing and Becoming Your Full Self

    • Anna talks about the ultimate goal of trauma healing: becoming your full, real self and creating space to hear your own inner guidance.
    • The importance of personal freedom, acceptance, and helping others on their healing journey.
  • 53:00 – Practical Takeaways and Final Thoughts

    • Anna offers actionable advice for anyone struggling with childhood trauma, focusing on simple daily practices that help re-regulate the nervous system and foster healing.
    • How to connect with Anna and learn more about her work with the Crappy Childhood Fairy.

Key Takeaways:

  • Childhood PTSD often goes unrecognized or is misunderstood, even within the medical community.
  • Emotional neglect and trauma can deeply impact adult relationships, leading to patterns of insecurity and attachment wounds.
  • Healing from trauma involves re-regulating the nervous system, a process that can lead to profound physical, emotional, and mental recovery.
  • Simple daily practices, like writing down fears and resentments, can provide powerful emotional relief and open the door to deeper healing.
  • Breaking the cycle of generational trauma is possible, and it begins with self-awareness, acceptance, and practical steps toward recovery.

 


Support the Podcast:

  • If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review! Your support helps others find the show.
  • Follow me on Instagram: @duffthepsych
  • Website: duffthepsych.com
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Oct 11, 2024

In this laid-back check-in episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I take you through a series of updates and random musings. I discuss the current state of the podcast, why I decided to fire my ad agency, and the recent revival of interviews. I also share some personal projects, from working on my bipolar disorder book to collaborating with my kids on a creative game inspired by Minecraft. Throughout, I reflect on AI innovations, the challenges of balancing podcasting with life, and ways I've been keeping active, like my new rucking routine. This episode is perfect for catching up on everything happening in my world, from professional changes to hobbies and everything in between.

Links:

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

01:00 Podcast Updates

02:00 Fired Ad Agency

05:00 Interview Segment Revival

08:00 Changes in Podcast Style

09:00 Decline in Podcast Numbers and Stepping Away from Ads

11:00 Writing Update - Bipolar Book

13:00 AI Adventures - ChatGPT Voice Mode Demo

18:00 AI Applications - Notebook LM

21:00 Personal Favorites - POV Cooking Channels

22:00 Nostalgia Gaming - Pokémon Insurgence

23:00 Podcast Recommendation - Tim Ferriss Interview with Elizabeth Gilbert

24:00 Work and Mentorship Updates

26:00 Fitness Journey - Rucking

27:00 Creative Projects with Kids

28:00 Reflections on Current Events and Mental Health

29:00 Wrap-up

Sep 27, 2024

In today’s episode, I had the absolute honor of sitting down with Dr. David Burns, a true legend in the field of mental health. Dr. Burns is not only a pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), but he’s also the best-selling author of Feeling Good and Feeling Great, which have collectively sold millions of copies worldwide. Spending so much time with him was a real treat, as he shared his incredible insights into mental health, his innovative T.E.A.M. Therapy method, and his groundbreaking Feeling Great App.

We talked about how his methods are helping people achieve rapid and lasting recovery from depression, anxiety, and other difficult emotions, sometimes in just one session. Dr. Burns also gave us a behind-the-scenes look at how his AI-driven app is transforming mental health treatment, making it accessible and effective for people everywhere.

This conversation was truly fascinating, and I’m sure you’ll find a ton of value in it. Whether you’re familiar with Dr. Burns’ work or hearing about him for the first time, you’ll come away with practical advice and a deeper understanding of how to break free from the emotional patterns holding you back.

In this episode, we cover:

  • Dr. Burns' early work with CBT and how it evolved into T.E.A.M. Therapy.
  • The creation and impact of the Feeling Great App, and how it leverages AI to deliver therapy.
  • Why measuring progress in therapy is essential and how data-driven methods are changing the field.
  • The common cause behind many negative emotions, and how to tackle it.
  • Dr. Burns’ unique approach to therapy—including why he hasn’t charged for sessions in over 30 years.

Links:

https://feelinggood.com/

 https://www.feelinggreat.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@UCEgz2rq7N1xCHMCcjdyU5zg

https://feelinggood.com/books/

 

Reach out!

http://duffthepsych.com/contact

duffthepsych@gmail.com

Sep 20, 2024

Breaking Boundaries: Dr. Paul Rivera on Redefining Success and Masculinity

In this episode, Dr. Paul Rivera, a first-generation Latino American, shares his inspiring journey navigating cultural expectations and his pursuit of a fulfilling life. From his early challenges growing up in a Latino neighborhood in Los Angeles to his prestigious roles as a professor and diplomat, Dr. Rivera discusses the importance of discovering one's unique superpower, embracing vulnerability as a strength, and redefining traditional notions of masculinity.

Together with his wife, Dr. Rivera co-founded BE ACT Change, an organization focused on aligning individuals and organizations with their purpose. He also discusses their book, 'Creating Your Limitless Life,' which provides insights into achieving authentic success beyond material trappings. Tune in for valuable lessons on mental health, family dynamics, and sustainable change.

https://www.instagram.com/be.act.change
https://www.amazon.com/CREATING-YOUR-LIMITLESS-LIFE-Terms/dp/B0CHL3RW4L

Sponsored by 23andMe, promoting proactive steps for health through genetic screening and personalized plans. http://23andme.com/duff 

00:00 Introduction: Dreams and Expectations 
00:25 Meet Dr. Paul Rivera: A Journey of Defying Expectations
01:28 Navigating Cultural Expectations and Personal Aspirations
02:22 Interview with Dr. Paul Rivera: Early Life and Influences
03:12 Growing Up Latino in Los Angeles
06:33 Balancing Work, Culture, and Personal Identity
18:30 Family Dynamics and Personal Growth
23:56 Challenging Machismo and Embracing Vulnerability
29:50 The Power of Vulnerability
30:38 Creating Safe Spaces at Home
32:11 Community Outreach and Education
33:47 Recognizing and Nurturing Potential
35:07 Discovering Your Superpower
37:03 Empowering Women in Leadership
39:04 Building Trust and Overcoming Barriers
40:21 The Journey to Self-Discovery
42:36 From Diplomacy to Entrepreneurship
43:32 The Mission of BeActChange
51:21 Advice for Feeling Stuck
56:30 Final Thoughts and Resources

Sep 13, 2024

Managing ADHD and Long COVID: Strategies for Cognitive Challenges In this episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, Dr. Robert Duff addresses a listener's question about the impact of COVID-19 on ADHD symptoms. The listener shares their struggles with ADHD and how contracting long COVID has exacerbated their cognitive difficulties, impacting their academic performance and daily life. Dr. Duff delves into the comorbidity of ADHD with other mental health issues, discusses research on post-COVID syndrome, and offers practical advice for seeking accommodations and support. He emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and provides steps for managing ADHD symptoms effectively. Tune in for compassionate guidance and actionable strategies to navigate ADHD in the context of long COVID.

00:00 Introduction: ADHD and COVID-19 Impact
00:33 Listener's Question: Struggles with ADHD and Long COVID
02:14 Host's Response: Acknowledging the Struggles
03:04 Understanding ADHD and Comorbidities
04:39 COVID-19's Cognitive Impact
08:16 Executive Functioning Explained
10:20 Practical Advice and Encouragement
13:21 Seeking Help and Accommodations
17:30 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Sep 6, 2024

Revolutionizing Therapy: Colleen Marshall on Two Chairs' Matching Process

 In this episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, Dr. Robert Duff interviews Colleen Marshall, Chief Clinical Officer at Two Chairs, a company dedicated to improving the therapy experience through innovative matching processes and measurement-based care. They discuss the current challenges in finding a suitable therapist, the importance of therapeutic alliance, and how Two Chairs' approach significantly improves client retention rates. Colleen also shares insights into her background, the systematic changes needed in therapy cultures, and the importance of culturally responsive training. Listeners will gain a better understanding of how Two Chairs is transforming mental health care by ensuring clients find the right therapist for their specific needs and continually measure treatment progress.

 

 00:00 The Broken Process of Finding a Therapist

01:04 Introducing Two Chairs: Revolutionizing Therapy Matching

01:52 Meet Colleen Marshall: Chief Clinical Officer at Two Chairs

02:44 Colleen's Journey in Mental Health and Innovation

06:22 The Importance of Therapeutic Alliance and Matching

10:17 How Two Chairs Ensures Effective Therapy

16:53 Challenges and Successes in Implementing Measurement-Based Care

28:56 Balancing Wellness and Specialty Training

29:23 Efficient Care and Graduation Goals

31:03 Insurance and Access to Therapy

32:04 Therapist's Role in Client Progress

33:52 Matching Clients with the Right Therapist

36:07 Navigating Therapy Models and Approaches

47:13 Two Chairs: Availability and Process

51:11 Future of Therapy and Cultural Responsiveness

53:36 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Aug 30, 2024

In this episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I address two intense and relatable listener questions.

The first question comes from a listener who feels abandoned by their spouse after a traumatic car accident left them with PTSD and potential brain injury. I provide insights on the possible brain injuries they might have sustained, while also discussing the complexities of their strained relationship and offering practical advice for moving forward.

In the second question, a listener struggles with constant phone checking and tech addiction. I offer actionable tips for managing phone usage, including identifying and challenging assumptions, creating a conscious phone use plan, and finding accountability.

This episode aims to provide support, clarity, and practical guidance for listeners dealing with trauma, relationship challenges, and tech overdependence.

This episode is brought to you by NoCD. Overthinking can be more than just a habit—it might be a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). NoCD provides virtual therapy sessions with licensed therapists specialized in Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, the gold standard treatment for OCD. To learn more, visit http://nocd.com and schedule a free 15-minute call.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 
01:16 Listener's Question: Dealing with Trauma and Relationship Issues
02:33 Understanding Brain Injuries from Car Accidents
08:05 Addressing Relationship Concerns and Seeking Separation
08:11 Sponsor Break: NoCD
15:14 Listener's Question: Overcoming Phone Addiction
17:07 Tips for Reducing Phone Usage
25:17 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Please send questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com 

Aug 23, 2024

Breaking Cycles: How Attachment Shapes Our Lives with Dr. Judy Ho

In this episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, host Dr. Duff interviews neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho, a tenured professor at Pepperdine University and author of 'The New Rules of Attachment.' They discuss why people often find themselves stuck in repetitive cycles despite different strategies and self-care routines. Dr. Ho explains the significance of revisiting one's past to break patterns, diving deep into attachment theory. They explore how early attachments form who we are, why it's essential to recognize childhood traumas, and the role of self-talk in attachment styles. Dr. Ho also shares her personal parenting insights and the importance of forming a secure attachment with oneself. Additionally, they delve into actionable exercises from Dr. Ho's book that help uncover unmet needs of our inner child and promote lasting change. Tune in for an in-depth conversation about the transformative power of understanding and healing our attachments.

 

This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a powerful new network of providers specializing in exposure and response prevention. Get treatment for OCD that actually works at http://nocd.com

This episode is also sponsored by BetterHelp – get 10% off your first month of online therapy at http://betterhelp.com/duff

 

Links!

https://www.amazon.com/New-Rules-Attachment-Relationships-Reparent/dp/1538741423

https://www.instagram.com/drjudyho

https://drjudyho.com/

 

00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Cycle

00:40 Meet Dr. Judy Ho

01:14 The Importance of Early Attachments

02:46 Personal Stories and Apologies

05:47 Journey into Psychology

18:10 Understanding Attachment Styles

30:11 Understanding Attachment Styles and Self-Talk

31:27 The Challenge of Changing Self-Talk

32:26 The Importance of Patience in Forming New Habits

33:14 Recognizing Overthinking and OCD

35:07 The Mind-Body Connection in Attachment

37:25 Inner Child Work and Self-Attachment

40:22 Practical Steps for Inner Child Healing

44:45 A Real-Life Transformation Story

53:22 Balancing Career and Personal Life

57:04 Parenting and Attachment

01:00:08 Looking Ahead: Future Plans and Reflections

Aug 16, 2024
In this episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, Dr. Robert Duff chats with Tony Weaver Jr., an award-winning author and educator dedicated to mental health advocacy and better representation in media. Tony shares his personal journey from feeling like an outcast in his teenage years, including a suicide attempt, to becoming a force for positivity and change. He discusses how his upbringing in Atlanta and breakthroughs like hearing Fall Out Boy's music shaped his path to self-acceptance and creative expression. Tony also delves into the importance of representation in media, recounting his experiences creating the webcomic 'The Uncommons' and his upcoming autobiographical graphic novel 'Weirdo.' Furthermore, he offers practical advice for children and parents navigating the challenges of embracing individuality in a conformist world. Tune in to hear his inspiring story, candid reflections on the role of conflict in growth, and his passionate stand on bettering cultural narratives through inclusive storytelling.
 
Links!

Weirdo: https://rep.club/products/weirdo

The Uncommons: https://www.webtoons.com/en/action/the-uncommons/list?title_no=4520

Tony on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonyweaverjr/

 
Chapters:
 
00:00 Introduction: Feeling Like the Odd One Out
00:24 Meet Tony Weaver Jr.: From Darkness to Advocacy
01:13 Tony's Creative Journey and Representation
01:38 Interview with Tony Weaver Jr.
02:52 Tony's Upbringing and Early Influences
04:45 The Struggles of Embracing Otherness
09:05 The Creation of 'Weirdo'
13:05 Mental Health and Personal Growth
26:36 Inner Child Work and Reparenting
27:13 Parents' Reactions to the Book
27:33 A Life-Changing Car Accident
28:40 Reflecting on Childhood and Authority
30:17 The Importance of Conflict and Support
35:21 Representation in Media
37:01 The Impact of Representation on Society
43:40 Challenges in Hollywood and Progress
49:40 Promoting the Book 'Weirdo'
52:35 Final Thoughts and Where to Follow
Aug 9, 2024

In this episode, Dr. Duff shares personal experiences and discusses the concept of being afraid of breathing. He highlights how anxiety and overthinking can lead to the sensation of not breathing properly. Dr. Duff explains how exposure therapy can be applied using breathing exercises to help alleviate these fears. He provides detailed instructions on different challenging breathing exercises like alternate nostril breathing, resonance breathing, and techniques inspired by the Wim Hof method and the Cradle series. The episode aims to help listeners gain comfort with discomfort and regain confidence in their breathing.

00:00 Introduction: Are You Afraid of Breathing?
00:02 A Personal Story of Breathing Anxiety
00:57 The Cycle of Anxiety and Breathing
01:50 Common Experiences and Avoidance
03:37 Using Breathing Exercises for Exposure
04:12 Understanding Exposure Therapy
07:38 Challenging Breathing Exercises
07:59 Alternate Nostril Breathing
10:40 Resonance Breathing
13:38 The Heaven and Earth Purification Wheel
15:16 Practicing in a Safe Space
16:22 Conclusion and Call to Action

http://betterhelp.com/duff

http://duffthepsych.com/contact

 

Aug 2, 2024

In episode 408 of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I'm joined by grief educator and author Christina Rasmussen.

We delve deep into the concept of invisible loss, a unique form of grief that stems from unacknowledged experiences. Christina opens up about her personal grief journey, introduces the Life Reentry Process, and shares insights from her book, 'Invisible Loss.' We also explore how early childhood experiences shape adult decision-making, the transformative power of authenticity, and Christina’s venture into using art for healing. Christina discusses her creation of a digital library of invisible losses and reflects on the significance of Andrew Wyeth's painting 'Christina's World.' Join us for actionable tips and profound reflections on navigating and reclaiming life after hidden struggles.

Links:

Books - https://www.amazon.com/stores/Christina-Rasmussen/author/B0057K44UU

https://lifereentry.com/

https://www.invisiblelosses.com/

https://springshow.academyart.edu/schools/fine-art/students/christina-rasmussen/

 Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Invisible Loss 
00:45 Meet Christina Rasmussen
01:17 Christina's Personal Journey with Grief
03:30 Early Life and Education
08:13 Navigating Life After Loss
11:08 The Birth of Life Reentry Process
32:12 Invisible Loss Defined
43:39 Starting the Program and Writing Invisible Loss
44:01 Challenges of Writing About Invisible Loss
44:24 The Concept of Invisible Loss
46:48 Men and Invisible Loss
47:59 The Importance of Self-Expression
49:01 The Role of Therapy and Support Groups
52:38 Time Dilation and Seeking Help
53:32 Ambitious Work and Personal Transformation
56:33 Balancing Art and Professional Life
01:03:00 The Journey of Writing and Sharing Vulnerable Moments
01:13:34 The Impact of Panic Attacks and Authenticity
01:19:46 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Jul 26, 2024

Navigating Intense Anxiety and Career Changes

Hello, friends! In today’s episode, we tackle two profound listener questions that may resonate with many of you:

Managing Severe Anxiety: A listener is struggling with intense daily anxiety and dissociation, impacting their ability to function in daily tasks like going to work or shopping. We discuss immediate tips, potential medical checks, and therapy approaches to manage anxiety effectively.

Considering a Career Shift: Another listener is contemplating a career change from music education to educational psychology. They seek advice on the feasibility, job prospects, and resources to pursue this new career path.

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the full show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode407

00:00 Introduction to Anxiety
00:17 Episode Overview and Listener Questions
00:56 Engaging with the Community
01:45 Addressing Severe Anxiety
05:15 Exploring Medical and Therapeutic Options
11:24 Understanding Anxiety and Fear
20:43 Career Change Considerations
28:10 Conclusion and Farewell

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Head over to http://betterhelp.com/duff for 10% off your first month.

Links mentioned:

Jul 19, 2024

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Patrick McGrath, Chief Clinical Officer at NOCD and a leading expert in OCD treatment. We dive deep into understanding OCD, debunking common misconceptions, and exploring the most effective treatment approaches. Dr. McGrath shares practical advice for managing OCD and introduces an amazing new tool that’s helping people across the country manage OCD from the comfort of their own homes. Whether you're personally affected by OCD, know someone who is, or just want to learn more about mental health, this episode is packed with valuable insights and actionable tips.

Key Takeaways:

  • Misconceptions About OCD:

    • Discover what OCD really is and debunk common myths.
    • Understand the difference between media portrayals and reality.
  • Effective Treatment Approaches:

    • Learn about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy.
    • Find out what works and what doesn’t in OCD treatment.
    • Explore Dr. McGrath's innovative approach to virtual ERP therapy.
  • Practical Advice for Managing OCD:

    • Get strategies for handling intrusive thoughts and compulsions.
    • Tips for avoiding reassurance-seeking, distraction, and substance use.
  • Introducing NOCD:

    • Learn about NOCD, an online platform offering accessible OCD therapy.
    • Understand how NOCD works and its benefits for people across the country.
    • Find out how NOCD is making treatment more affordable and effective.

Personal Insights:

  • Hear Dr. McGrath's personal journey with anxiety and how it shaped his career.
  • Gain inspiration from his transformation from a bullied child to a leading mental health expert.

Be sure to check out NOCD at http://treatmyocd.com and send me a question or topic for a future episode of the show at http://duffthepsych.com/contact 

Jul 13, 2024
Does Joe Biden Have Dementia? A Neuropsychologist's Perspective
 
In this episode, I discuss the current political climate in the United States and my concerns as a neuropsychologist regarding the cognitive abilities of President Joe Biden. I explain the difference between normal aging, mild cognitive impairment, and dementia, and provide analysis of Biden's speech abilities from various clips over the years. While I emphasize that it's challenging to diagnose cognitive decline without comprehensive testing, I provide insights into what a professional evaluation would entail and discuss why it's critical to consider cognitive health for a role as demanding as the presidency.
 
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit http://betterhelp.com/duff for 10% off your first month of online therapy.
 
As always, you can send me questions or topic suggestions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the full show notes at http://duffthepsych.com 
Jul 5, 2024

Hello, friends!

In today’s episode, we delve into the transformative potential of ketamine therapy for mental health with Dr. Chantalle Thomas, a leading expert in ketamine-assisted psychotherapy.

Dr. Thomas is a trainer in Fluence’s Advanced Certificate in Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy as well as Executive Clinical Director at Windrose Recovery.

Dr. Thomas discusses the complexities of ketamine as a treatment, its various administration routes, and the profound changes it can facilitate when integrated with therapy. We also explore the importance of therapeutic integration in maximizing the benefits of ketamine, the ethical considerations in psychedelic medicine, and navigating the current regulatory landscape.

Additionally, Dr. Thomas shares her personal journey into mental health and psychedelics, and the importance of authenticity and attachment theory in therapy.

As always, you can send me questions to duffthepsych@gmail.com and find the full show notes for this episode at http://duffthepsych.com/episode404

Links:

https://windroserecovery.com/podcast/therapy-unblinded-inside-mdma-research/

https://www.fluencetraining.com/

https://maps.org/

 

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